Taxi Driver Online

Why are disable toilets the only toilets big enough to run around in ? irony?

I'm not saying I've got a small dick... But my cock ring needs a belt.

Apparently, only 95% of men know how to turn on a dishwasher. Personally I always find that licking her nipples and lightly fingering her pussy does the trick.

How many Welsh men does it take to open a barn door ?


None all they have to do is put their wellies on and the sheep do it for them

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

Anyone seen my camouflage jacket, I can't find it !

I went for a interview as a blacksmith today. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?" I said, "No, but I' told a donkey to fuck off once."

Love flowers but hate gardening? Just buy a house near an accident black spot

wor lass has eczema on her chest. She has a cracking pair of tits

I went out last night and got completely pi$$ed out of my skull. I woke up this morning next to a bird that was constantly farting and snoring. So I knew I'd made it home OK

3 newlywed couples arrive at the same hotel on their honeymoon. The three grooms get talking to one another in the bar each bragging about how they are going to be up all night making love to their brides. They decide to see who does best and decide to signal to each other how they did by how many rounds of toast they order with their breakfast. in the morning they each turn up at breakfast the first one orders 3 rounds of toast the second orders 4 the third asks for 4 3 white and one brown.

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

warning very offensive uber joke do not read if you are a lover of all things uber or obsessed by political correctness ps. ven too long for you as well

How many uber drivers does it take to change a headlight bulb

well lets see

3 to scout out a suitable car park to use
5 to scout out suitable gardens to use as toilets
6 to stand guard against guide dogs
4 to keep a lookout for rogue shop keepers
4 to look out for gays and lesbians
6 to look for suitable drunk girls to rape afterwards to celebrate
10 to supervise
3 to ask the imam if the holy books permit it
and a polish mechanic to fit it for them

answer 42

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

Is the mechanic an UBER driver as well then?

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Grandad,

( missed that first time around )