Taxi Driver Online

20 white drivers chasing a black guy in a Merc

It used be to be "Police interceptors"


Now its F1

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

The teacher see’s little Emily crying at her desk and then saw that she had a cat peering out from her school bag.

“What’s wrong Emily? And why have you brought your cat to school?” She asked

Emily replied “Because I heard daddy say to mummy that he was going to eat that pussy when the kids leave! So I’m saving him!”

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his p*nis in the mommy’s v*gina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s p*nis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

Three Irishman went to a car show and spent 5 hours looking around the car park

A chemist shop owner asks the assistant, "What's with that guy over there leaning by the wall?" The Assistant says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

My wife has serious doubts about my ability to repair the breakdowns in our household appliances.

Boy is she in for a shock.....

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

I've just got first place in a national bullshitting competition. Well, I actually came 12th. To be honest, there wasn't even a competition.

I bought myself a blow-up doll today. It's dressed in a Burka and has a rucksack on its back.

An American was sat in the doctors waiting room. After an hour, the doctor came out, looked at him and said "sorry about the wait". "It's ok" said the American. "I'm in no rush". The doctor replied "that's not what I meant you fat bastard"

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion!"

Black Tarmac and Red Tarmac decide to go for a beer down the local.
They have just sat down when Green Tarmac comes bursting through the door,
demands a large scotch and then head-butts the barman in the face for no reason.
Red says to Black, you better watch him, he's a f@cking cycle-path.

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

Danny Brown, an elderly farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.
On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your staff," he asked Danny.
"Well," said Danny, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.
There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."
"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."
"You are talking to him now' said Danny.

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

Chap moves into a posh neighbourhood and is talking to his (very rich) neighbour...


Wow, you have a huge garden, it must take hours to mow the lawns

Neighbour "dunno, ive a guy who comes in 3 times a week for me"


Wow, your car is huge, it must take hours to keep it clean inside and out

Neighbour "dunno, ive a guy who comes in 3 times a week for me"


Then the rich guys wife arrives in her car and walks in the house........she is "fit" ( . )( . )

He says, Wow, what a babe, i bet she takes some [edited by admin]

Rich guy says "Dunno.............ive a guy who.........

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

How do you milk sheep?



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