Taxi Driver Online

Sunderland afc

yes I bet the Newcastle fans can't wait to fly a plane over the stadium of light(s) with a nice banner attached

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, he man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying [edited by admin]. He's never been out of the garden!!.

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Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

Prince Charles goes for walk every night after dinner, he passes a hooker, she says do you want business. He says £5 she says £150 he carries on walking.
This goes on for 4 days.
On the 5th day Camilla decides to join him, as they approach the hooker Charles averts his gaze to avoid any embarrassment,
as they pass by the hooker shouts, "see what you get for a fiver you tight b@stard!

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

A Liverpool girl goes to the welfare office to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the welfare officer.

"Ten" replies the Liverpool girl,

"Ten?!" says the welfare worker

"What are their names?"

"Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan & Nathan"

"Doesn't that get confusing?"

"Naah..." says the Liverpool girl, "It's great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout 'Nathan yer dinner's ready!' or ''Nathan go to bed now!' and they all do it.

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the welfare worker.

"That's easy," says the Liverpool girl... "I just use their surnames."

An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!' Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.
Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!' Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle.' Jesus then approaches the Scouser who says, 'here fook off mate, I'm on disability benefit.'

A farmer went to a local pub and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.'

This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating' said the woman.'

'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he added 'What are you celebrating?'

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.'

'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

'I used a different cock' he replied.

The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said 'What a coincidence!'

what do essex girls use for protection during sex........................





A bus shelter

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

Q. What's the most confusing day in Liverpool ?
A. Father's Day

The Hygiene inspector visits Murphy's Bakery and finds Murphy using his own False teeth to Crimp the Steak pie pastry.

He is appalled, "Murphy, do you not have a Tool?"

"Aye" replies Murphy, "But I use that to put the holes in the doughnuts"

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lack of modern legislation is the iceberg sinking the titanic of the transport sector

Two women police dog handlers and their dogs are out patrolling the streets one day when one of them suddenly confesses to being cold because she had left her knickers at the station.

The other woman officer then suggested that she allowed her dog to have a sniff of her crotch and then let it go to retrieve them.

So that's exactly what she did.

20 minutes or so later, the dog returned with her knickers, two truncheons, the janitor's broom and 3 of the custody sergeants fingers

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

The kids threw up when I told them I'd put ginger in the curry.

They really loved that cat!

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

What did Joan Collins put behind her ears to be more attractive to men?


her ankles

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

'm bloody glad I don't suffer from insomnia, because I'd probably have to live in fear of not dying in my sleep

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most