Taxi Driver Online

All I have to say about this is "you're not well are you, it's TICK"

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Not round here it isn't it's tig.

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Grandad,

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight.
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night to be getting home is this?
Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it."
And on: And on: And on:

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all, Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally, realising what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, and drying his legs and feet!

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.
To which he whirled around and screamed,

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN,

DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!"

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Didn't you ever play tig & tag in the playground at infant & junior school?

And when you had tigged someone & they were 'on', you quickly shouted, 'arley barley' to say you weren't playing any more, so they couldn't tig you back straight away?

Or if someone was running after you to tig you, you would jump onto a wall or some steps, or wherever & say that you were in the den, so they couldn't tig you there either.

But they still would tig you & then argue with you that where you were wasn't the den & you were now 'on' because they tigged you & although you said it was the den, they disagreed & the whole game of tig descended into a farce because nobody would admit to being 'on'.

Oh those wonderful days ..... tell me you played tig at school Ms Toots ..... tell me you played tig!!

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Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

You might have run around the playground with a clock, but school kids in Brum didn't.

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Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

Thats yer Merseyside slant on the pronunciation of the word "Tig"..

You make it sound like "Tighhhhhhhh" ...with an ichhhhhhhhhh like pleghmy ending in to it...just in the same we jockanese say "Och" or "Loch"...

so you turn TIG in to Tichhhhhhhhh

I played 'off ground TICK' and 'kiss chase' and 'arley barley' means you're talking rubbish here

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

"Tig" (or its regional variations) and "British Bulldog" are now banned by the H&S brigade

no contact sports only, like.....origami and flower arranging

bloody limp wrists again..

Did you ever play tock Toots

chap walks into a pub next to a hospital wearing a dressing gown, slippers and pulling a stand with a drip-bag into his arm....


"give me a large brandy please"

knocks it back

"i shouldnt be drinking that with what ive got"

barmen - "why, what have you got?"

drinker - "25p"

I bet she did ..... Monday, Wednesday & Friday she played tick & Tuesday & Thursday she played tock!!

_________________
Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

You're as crazy as me

_________________
Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

A guy walking down the street and sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, “Hey Miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?”
“Are you nuts?” she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
“Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?” he asks again.
“Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. “Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?”
She thinks about it for a while and says, “Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there.”
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse and bra to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, “Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?”
“Nah”, he replies. “Costs too much!!!”

_________________
Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

chap tells his mate he thinks his wife is dead

"how do you mean"?

"well, the sex is the same, but the washings piling up"
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chap finds his mate has found a womans body by a railway line, keeps it the freezer, and takes it out for regular sex, he asks:-
"does she give good head", his mate replies....

"dunno, i didnt find her head"


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Paddy gets killed on the building site

his wife identifies the body, as she walks out she sees another corpese all laid out in a nice suit, collar, tie, polished shoes, while paddy is in wellies, overalls, donkey jacket, she asks the chap in charge "could you be making me poor old paddy look tidy like the man over there?". the attendant says he will, later paddys family arrive to see paddy, hes looking a picture in a suit, colar tie, etc

after theyve all passed by, paddys wife nips back in and slips the chap £50 "im so greatefull, he looks really nice and it couldnt have been easy with him being all stiff and that", the guy replies.....

"nah, i just swapped the heads over......"

Stupid women http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJPNe0ZgH1s

women seem to have a thing for water