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Golfing Terms.
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Author:  Nigel [ Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:45 am ]
Post subject:  Golfing Terms.
A Nipple licker - shot which opens up the hole
A Worm f***er - well struck shot, but which doesn't get off the ground
A Sally Gunnell - ugly runner
A Brazilian - putt which shaves the hole close
I don't go that far on me holidays - for a well struck drive
On the dance floor - on the green
A Mother in law - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be (sometimes also called a sister in law, which is not quite as grotesque)
“Does your husband play?” - for when someone hits a short tee shot
"You're standing too close to the ball......after you've hit it" - for another short tee shot
NITBY - "not in the bunker yet", for any short chip over a bunker onto the green
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Rick Waller - VERY fat.......and ugly.......with no redeeming features whatsoever
Putting:
A gynaecologist's assistant - shaving the hole
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diego Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
Bunker Play:
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
An Eva Braun - picked up in the bunker
A Saddam Hussein - go from bunker to bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
Ball Striking:
A Kate Winslett - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Michael Barrymore - a long iron
A Wilfred Bramble - a thin iron
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - a fat iron
A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
A Marilyn Monroe - a fair crack up the middle (aka "A Blondie)
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left
A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems!
A Mrs Patel - ugly, but a good worker
An elephant's bottom - high and raspberry
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Tony Blair - too much spin
A Bin Laden - driven out and never to be found again
A Jamie Oliver - you really want to smack it but you can't
Author:  edders23 [ Fri Mar 05, 2010 8:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Methinks your earning too much if youv'e got all that time to go on the golf course :D :lol: tou'll be joining the masons next
Author:  Nigel [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
edders23 wrote:
Methinks your earning too much if youv'e got all that time to go on the golf course :D :lol: tou'll be joining the masons next


The dodgy handshake club???? No thanks I'm not bent enough to join them.
Author:  Stationtone [ Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes, we have seen your wedding photo :lol:
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