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Just Weird http://www.taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=15725	Page 1 of 2

Author:	captain cab [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 5:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Just Weird
I have sex with my car! Like many men, Jordan Witham is obsessed with his car. But while most boy racers would draw the line at a wax and polish, his obsession has gone into overdrive. The 20 year old is in love with his Volkswagen Beetle – and has been having sex with it for four years. Despite never having kissed a girl before, virgin Jordan has become an experienced lover, covering his car with kisses and caresses before having penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe. “I don’t fancy people,” says Jordan. “It’s cars that do it for me – I don’t want to marry or have kids.” Jordan’s mum, Debbie, 53, doesn’t know about her son’s habit but his dad, David, 50, a door installer, does – and amazingly hasn’t tried to put the brakes on his relationship. Jordan says: “When I told my dad I was sexually attracted to my car, he just said that there are lots of different people out there who are attracted to lots of different things. “I’m not ready to tell Mum, though. She sees the world in a different way and is always asking me if I’ve found a nice girl.” Jordan is one of just a handful of extreme car lovers in the world known as mechaphiles, and says his obsession was fuelled as a child. He says: “I had hundreds of toy cars as a kid and often played in my dad’s Beetle. I used to talk to it, but I didn’t think it was odd as all my mates had imaginary friends.” After Jordan passed his driving test at 16, he spent his £750 savings on his first car, a 1967 VW Beetle. Jordan says: “I just knew she was a ‘girl’ car and I named her Ingo. She hadn’t worked in years, but as soon as I saw her, I had to have her.” It was only while restoring Ingo that Jordan, who has never been attracted to women, realised his feelings were sexual. “I could feel myself falling in love while I worked on Ingo,” he says. “I once became so aroused, I started rubbing her bodywork and masturbating. It didn’t feel strange, just really exciting. “After a few minutes, I felt a desire to connect with her further, so I had penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.” Jordan began making love to his car a couple of times a week, while his parents were out. He recently moved out of their home to make it easier to carry on his relationship. “I don’t always have sex with the car,” he explains. “Sometimes I stroke and kiss her bodywork, or rub myself up against her. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.” Jordan, who also masturbates while reading car magazines, has spent over £2,500 refurbishing Ingo. Most of Jordan’s earnings from his job stacking shelves at a supermarket are spent on her. Now he has spent a further £200 on a “boy” car, a Trans Am he calls Todd, and is experimenting with a “gay” relationship. Jordan says: “He’s very masculine. When I first bought him, I felt like I was cheating on Ingo, but now we all work well together. “I have sex with Ingo more than Todd because Todd is kept in the driveway, not in the garage,” he explains. “I have to sneak outside in the middle of the night to have sex with him.” Unsurprisingly, Jordan from Missouri, USA, describes himself as a bit of a loner – though he has now made friends with another mechaphile over the internet. Jordan says: “I enjoy my life. If I end up an old man, living on my own with just my cars, I’ll be happy.” http://www.closeronline.co.uk/RealLife/ ... 010&pos=31

Author:	wannabeeahack [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 5:58 pm ]
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well ive been fckd over by a few motors too, a citroen relay for one...

Author:	toots [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 7:07 pm ]
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An exhaust eh....... well I guess whatever floats yer boat

Author:	Nidge [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 7:24 pm ]
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wannabeeahack wrote: well ive been fckd over by a few motors too, a citroen relay for one... I'm getting f u c k e d over by one now, it's called a Vectra.

Author:	Sussex [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 8:08 pm ]
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toots wrote: An exhaust eh....... well I guess whatever floats yer boat Might have to let it cool down a bit first.

Author:	cabbyman [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 8:12 pm ]
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Another one of those threads in which one must ask CC: 'What the hell were you looking for when you found that??' I'm going to make a template of that question; it will save me keep typing it.

Author:	grandad [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 8:14 pm ]
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I don't know about you chaps but how much padding would be needed to get a good fit?

Author:	cabbyman [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 8:28 pm ]
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Ummmm.......None???

Author:	toots [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:14 pm ]
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grandad wrote: I don't know about you chaps but how much padding would be needed to get a good fit? I guess that would depend on the diameter of the exhaust but hey if it the exhaust is too large you could always take out the cigarette lighter and use the holder. I suggest you use the one in the back compartment between the seats it's bound to make for easier access and more comfort If all else fails apparently there is always the picnic table, road signs, a bicycle, a lamp post, a park bench and last but not least there is this little snippet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFDDDHs8 ... r_embedded

Author:	wannabeeahack [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:16 pm ]
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grandad wrote: I don't know about you chaps but how much padding would be needed to get a good fit? gangbang

Author:	wannabeeahack [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:17 pm ]
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Midlander wrote: wannabeeahack wrote: well ive been fckd over by a few motors too, a citroen relay for one... I'm getting f u c k e d over by one now, it's called a Vectra. 15mpg still?

Author:	captain cab [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:26 pm ]
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I cant believe he's cheating on Ingo. CC

Author:	Nidge [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:35 pm ]
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wannabeeahack wrote: Midlander wrote: wannabeeahack wrote: well ive been fckd over by a few motors too, a citroen relay for one... I'm getting f u c k e d over by one now, it's called a Vectra. 15mpg still? Got a whopping 16 miles to the gallon on a run yesterday.

Author:	wannabeeahack [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:53 pm ]
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Midlander wrote: wannabeeahack wrote: Midlander wrote: wannabeeahack wrote: well ive been fckd over by a few motors too, a citroen relay for one... I'm getting f u c k e d over by one now, it's called a Vectra. 15mpg still? Got a whopping 16 miles to the gallon on a run yesterday. why not get it fixed?... no, forget i asked

Author:	Nidge [ Sun Jan 02, 2011 10:58 pm ]
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wannabeeahack wrote: Midlander wrote: wannabeeahack wrote: Midlander wrote: wannabeeahack wrote: well ive been fckd over by a few motors too, a citroen relay for one... I'm getting f u c k e d over by one now, it's called a Vectra. 15mpg still? Got a whopping 16 miles to the gallon on a run yesterday. why not get it fixed?... no, forget i asked I won't bore you with the ins and outs. Basically it's knackered.

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