There is a naked woman in the shower, she hears a knock at the door
"Who is it?"
"Blind man" is the reply
"OK, come on in then"
"Nice boobs, now where do you want your blinds"
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| JOKES http://www.taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2107 |
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| Author: | dundee wav [ Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | JOKES |
with all the gloom surrounding our trade maybe its time for a joke thread ill get it satarted A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I"m sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out of the room. He returned a few moments later with a beautiful Siamese cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I"m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$500!" she cried. "$500 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50. But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up." |
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| Author: | Sussex [ Tue Jun 21, 2005 7:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
There is a naked woman in the shower, she hears a knock at the door "Who is it?" "Blind man" is the reply "OK, come on in then" "Nice boobs, now where do you want your blinds"
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| Author: | Guest [ Tue Jun 21, 2005 10:28 pm ] |
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Father O'Flannagan dies due to old age. Upon entering St.Peter's gate, there is another man in front, waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter asks the man, "What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?" The man responds "My name is Mr Yorkie, and I was a Calderdale Taxi driver for 14 years". "Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your silk robe and golden sceptre, now you may walk in the streets of our Lord." St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks "What is your name and what did you accomplish?" He responds, "I'm Father O'Flannagan, and have devoted the last 62 years to the Lord". "Very well," says St. Peter, "Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter." "Wait a minute," says O'Flannagan, "You gave the taxi driver a silk robe and golden sceptre, why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?" "Well," St. Peter replied, "We work on a performance scale, you see while you preached, everyone slept, when he drove taxis, everyone prayed!" 
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| Author: | steveo [ Wed Jun 22, 2005 10:17 pm ] |
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cant get the image to show so click the link: http://geocities.com/steveo_uk2003/mjtoast |
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| Author: | Guest [ Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
If you believe in creation as espoused in the Bible, then Adam and Eve's children would actually have had to have sex with one another for the earth to have become populated. This is surely proof positive that Yorkshire was at one time the Garden of Eden.
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| Author: | tcabbie [ Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:07 am ] |
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lol this is the best optical illusion ive seen in a long time take a minute or 2 to find the diffirences in the pictures http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf |
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| Author: | dundee wav [ Mon Jun 27, 2005 9:32 pm ] |
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there was something similar to this on this very website i cant believe i walked right into this one and now i have to change my underpants for the second time this year |
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