captain cab wrote:
One for my friend Nigel;
Drivers in
Sutton in Bashfield are to face new measures when they infringe anything at all in the district.
The taxi hating council have agreed that the first born child of each licensed driver will be kept in the cellars of the council offices “Just in case” any driver thinks about committing any misdemeanour whatsoever. These offences include, looking at people in ‘funny ways’, ‘talking with their mouths full’, and ‘leaving the table without asking permission’.
Councillors are additionally considering a new penalty points system, however instead of accumulating penalty points drivers will be forced to sacrifice fingers.
The Licensing Manager of the district, Kev Hitler, stressed to reporters that this wasn’t a final solution and although a distant relative did have a final solution, his had nothing to do with that.
He told taxitalk “Taxi Drivers are [edited by admin] sons of the devil, they deserve it, I don't enjoy cutting off digits, but it certainly brightens my day”.
Nigel Merchant spokesman for the taxi drivers told us “This situation seems to have got worse since the ‘Saw’ films were released on DVD”
No councillor was available for comment, presumably because they were in Madame Sins parlour of punishment.
That brings back memories mate. Mr Neal's blood pressure went up ten fold when he read that letter.
