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captain cab

Post subject: Someone once wrote....

Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:01 pm

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2003 7:25 pm
Posts: 37494
Location: Wayneistan

“Happy talkin', talkin Happy talk
Talk about things you'd like to do
You've got to have a dream
If you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true”

The following quotes have came from the press in the past couple of years;

“Both featured drivers who had sailed through the spoken test - but appeared before the councillors with an interpreter because they were unable to speak English.”

"I had someone who had a licence come in looking for work, but his English was so bad he brought an interpreter with him.”

“He spoke through an interpreter because his English was described in court as 'limited'.”

“Patel, who had an interpreter in court, had since stopped driving taxis and was working as an operator at the firm. He will have to enlist on a sex offenders' register for five years.”

“Younis had his sentence explained to him through an interpreter. Younis has had his licence to drive a Hackney Carriage revoked.”

“On the night in question Mr M G refused to be interviewed by officers of this Council because he wanted an interpreter. However records showed that Mr M G was interviewed at the roadside by officers of this council in 1990 and no interpreter was needed a copy of this interview was attached to the report.

Also Mr M G was also interviewed at the roadside by a Police sergeant on the 25th July 1992 and no interpreter was needed then. A copy of the Police Sergeants statement and a record of the interview were attached to the report.”

“When the case was heard the defendant proceeded to tell the court that he could not afford to pay and costs and that he could not understand English, despite his earlier admission that he worked on the telephones for a private hire firm and he had been employed as a taxi driver.”

It is my duty to very often come up with solutions to problems which happen in the taxi industry and the following maybe considered quite radical.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that in the UK every taxi driver should be able to converse in the English language. Indeed, given the fact that the majority of passengers communicate in English, some would suggest it is more or less essential.

In addition to the above it is equally important that not only should a driver understand the passenger, he (or she) should know where the passenger wishes to go to. Customers tend to be a little bit ‘picky’ on this point, taking a passenger somewhere they don't wish to go is very often frowned upon.

In order to ensure both of the above take place it is a good idea to have a knowledge test, this test should be of both the written and verbal variety. It isn’t exactly rocket science, a licensing officer can ask an application to take him from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’ whilst being interviewed, naming every street on route. This will satisfy the licensing officer of two things, firstly the applicant can speak English and secondly he knows routes.

Obviously, being able to drive is quite important, how about something radical? The DSA have had a taxi driving test for many years, why don't all applicants pass one of those?

_________________
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

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captain cab

Post subject: Re: Someone once wrote....

Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:12 pm

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2003 7:25 pm
Posts: 37494
Location: Wayneistan

Trampy Wirral Drivers

It would appear from reports that cab drivers on the Wirral don't seem to dress correctly. I must admit, this story gave me a great deal of amusement. Some might describe a section of Wirral drivers as trampy bags of sh*te. The situation has been so bad the local authority have taken measures to ensure drivers dress correctly in the future and have ordered a dress code.

According to reports a certain Sue Taylor, who chairs the licensing committee came up with the idea. Admittedly, I like the look of Sue Taylor, she appears to be a bit of a fox and I’d like to go to bed with her, where we could discuss uniforms at length, however, this has nothing to do with this article. Besides, I don't think putting nurses uniforms on Wirral cabbies will take off, indeed, if it did, I think I’d possibly be reaching for the nearest bucket.

Sue, and I use that term with due diligence, states on her website;

I seem to have caused a bit of a furore with our cabbies. The Licensing Committee has introduced a dress code for Wirral’s taxi drivers to give a smarter, more professional image. There’s lots of rumours doing the rounds about a ‘uniform’ or wearing a shirt & tie which are completely untrue. It is not a ‘top hat & tails’ approach and other local authorities and councils have been far more stringent with their guidelines. The policy has been welcomed by most drivers and operators who already meet the criteria.

To be honest, I think Sue has a point (that’s definitely the wrong phrase......Ed), it’s actually quite sad that any council should feel the need to bring in a dress code of any description. I imagine there are currently massive queues of Wirral cabbies outside the local Primark or Matalan (for those posh cabbies out there).

_________________
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

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captain cab

Post subject: Re: Someone once wrote....

Posted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:13 pm

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2003 7:25 pm
Posts: 37494
Location: Wayneistan

One for my friend Nigel;

Drivers in

Sutton in Bashfield are to face new measures when they infringe anything at all in the district.

The taxi hating council have agreed that the first born child of each licensed driver will be kept in the cellars of the council offices “Just in case” any driver thinks about committing any misdemeanour whatsoever. These offences include, looking at people in ‘funny ways’, ‘talking with their mouths full’, and ‘leaving the table without asking permission’.

Councillors are additionally considering a new penalty points system, however instead of accumulating penalty points drivers will be forced to sacrifice fingers.

The Licensing Manager of the district, Kev Hitler, stressed to reporters that this wasn’t a final solution and although a distant relative did have a final solution, his had nothing to do with that.

He told taxitalk “Taxi Drivers are [edited by admin] sons of the devil, they deserve it, I don't enjoy cutting off digits, but it certainly brightens my day”.

Nigel Merchant spokesman for the taxi drivers told us “This situation seems to have got worse since the ‘Saw’ films were released on DVD”

No councillor was available for comment, presumably because they were in Madame Sins parlour of punishment.

_________________
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

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Nidge2

Post subject: Re: Someone once wrote....

Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2014 5:25 am

Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 8:45 am
Posts: 9966
Location: Braintree, Essex.

captain cab wrote:

That brings back memories mate. Mr Neal's blood pressure went up ten fold when he read that letter. :lol:

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