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Tales of Lonely Housewives
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Author:  Brummie Cabbie [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Tales of Lonely Housewives
Number of housewives needing sex with any male internet user reaching crisis point

02-12-14
From The Daily Mash

THE volume of attractive wives needing immediate no-strings sexual encounters is becoming a humanitarian crisis, it has been claimed.

‘Extra marital’ dating website owner Tom Booker said: “People think we’re just making this stuff up to get lonely men’s credit details, but if anything our adverts are playing down the severity of the horny wife situation.

“Quite apart from the 7,000 naked photos I am sent on a daily basis, vast hordes of them have started turning up at our office and banging on the doors. In fact we are currently trapped in the building.

“They are all very attractive and could be actresses in daytime soaps. Often they arrive naked, reduced to an animal level by their wild appetites. We throw them raw meat out of the window.

“I guess that’s just what happens when work-obsessed husbands neglect their partner’s needs.”

Very good-looking housewife Emma Bradford said: “I want sex right now with any man in my post code region, however old, fat or unhygienic.

“Apart from that my main interests are knitting, baking and world cinema.”

Source; http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 4120293427
Author:  MR T [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 10:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
Brummie Cabbie wrote:
Number of housewives needing sex with any male internet user reaching crisis point

02-12-14
From The Daily Mash

THE volume of attractive wives needing immediate no-strings sexual encounters is becoming a humanitarian crisis, it has been claimed.

‘Extra marital’ dating website owner Tom Booker said: “People think we’re just making this stuff up to get lonely men’s credit details, but if anything our adverts are playing down the severity of the horny wife situation.

“Quite apart from the 7,000 naked photos I am sent on a daily basis, vast hordes of them have started turning up at our office and banging on the doors. In fact we are currently trapped in the building.

“They are all very attractive and could be actresses in daytime soaps. Often they arrive naked, reduced to an animal level by their wild appetites. We throw them raw meat out of the window.

“I guess that’s just what happens when work-obsessed husbands neglect their partner’s needs.”

Very good-looking housewife Emma Bradford said: “I want sex right now with any man in my post code region, however old, fat or unhygienic.

“Apart from that my main interests are knitting, baking and world cinema.”

Source; http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 4120293427

Do they know your out :D
Author:  toots [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 11:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
I'm curious what he was googling to find the article :lol:
Author:  Brummie Cabbie [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 11:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
toots wrote:
I'm curious what he was googling to find the article :lol:

It was an off-shoot of my first home page, which is Google News.
Author:  Brummie Cabbie [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 11:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
MR T wrote:
Brummie Cabbie wrote:
Number of housewives needing sex with any male internet user reaching crisis point

02-12-14
From The Daily Mash

THE volume of attractive wives needing immediate no-strings sexual encounters is becoming a humanitarian crisis, it has been claimed.

‘Extra marital’ dating website owner Tom Booker said: “People think we’re just making this stuff up to get lonely men’s credit details, but if anything our adverts are playing down the severity of the horny wife situation.

“Quite apart from the 7,000 naked photos I am sent on a daily basis, vast hordes of them have started turning up at our office and banging on the doors. In fact we are currently trapped in the building.

“They are all very attractive and could be actresses in daytime soaps. Often they arrive naked, reduced to an animal level by their wild appetites. We throw them raw meat out of the window.

“I guess that’s just what happens when work-obsessed husbands neglect their partner’s needs.”

Very good-looking housewife Emma Bradford said: “I want sex right now with any man in my post code region, however old, fat or unhygienic.

“Apart from that my main interests are knitting, baking and world cinema.”

Source; http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 4120293427

Do they know your out :D

Do they know your out???
Author:  toots [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 11:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
Brummie Cabbie wrote:
toots wrote:
I'm curious what he was googling to find the article :lol:

It was an off-shoot of my first home page, which is Google News.


Well don't wander too far, God only knows what you'll come across next :lol:

Btw it's 'you're out' not 'your out' :wink:
Author:  Brummie Cabbie [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
toots wrote:
Brummie Cabbie wrote:
toots wrote:
I'm curious what he was googling to find the article :lol:

It was an off-shoot of my first home page, which is Google News.


Well don't wander too far, God only knows what you'll come across next :lol:

Btw it's 'you're out' not 'your out' :wink:

I know that!!

Don't blame me.

I was quoting Mr T and asking what he meant.
Author:  toots [ Tue Dec 09, 2014 1:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
BC wrote:
I know that!!

Don't blame me.

I was quoting Mr T and asking what he meant.


Ahh well in that case you're forgiven and Mr T doesn't need to be forgiven :wink:
Author:  trotskys twin [ Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
Brummie Cabbie wrote:
MR T wrote:
Brummie Cabbie wrote:
Number of housewives needing sex with any male internet user reaching crisis point

02-12-14
From The Daily Mash

THE volume of attractive wives needing immediate no-strings sexual encounters is becoming a humanitarian crisis, it has been claimed.

‘Extra marital’ dating website owner Tom Booker said: “People think we’re just making this stuff up to get lonely men’s credit details, but if anything our adverts are playing down the severity of the horny wife situation.

“Quite apart from the 7,000 naked photos I am sent on a daily basis, vast hordes of them have started turning up at our office and banging on the doors. In fact we are currently trapped in the building.

“They are all very attractive and could be actresses in daytime soaps. Often they arrive naked, reduced to an animal level by their wild appetites. We throw them raw meat out of the window.

“I guess that’s just what happens when work-obsessed husbands neglect their partner’s needs.”

Very good-looking housewife Emma Bradford said: “I want sex right now with any man in my post code region, however old, fat or unhygienic.

“Apart from that my main interests are knitting, baking and world cinema.”

Source; http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 4120293427

Do they know your out :D

Do they know your out???


Some strains of SYPHILIS permanently affect the the Brains function as illustrated by this Tory nutter :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin:
Author:  MR T [ Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
Image
Author:  Nidge2 [ Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
Brummie Cabbie wrote:
Number of housewives needing sex with any male internet user reaching crisis point

02-12-14
From The Daily Mash

THE volume of attractive wives needing immediate no-strings sexual encounters is becoming a humanitarian crisis, it has been claimed.

‘Extra marital’ dating website owner Tom Booker said: “People think we’re just making this stuff up to get lonely men’s credit details, but if anything our adverts are playing down the severity of the horny wife situation.

“Quite apart from the 7,000 naked photos I am sent on a daily basis, vast hordes of them have started turning up at our office and banging on the doors. In fact we are currently trapped in the building.

“They are all very attractive and could be actresses in daytime soaps. Often they arrive naked, reduced to an animal level by their wild appetites. We throw them raw meat out of the window.

“I guess that’s just what happens when work-obsessed husbands neglect their partner’s needs.”

Very good-looking housewife Emma Bradford said: “I want sex right now with any man in my post code region, however old, fat or unhygienic.

“Apart from that my main interests are knitting, baking and world cinema.”

Source; http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 4120293427



Glad to be of service. http://www.lonelyhousewives.com/?s=free ... oCRsnw_wcB
Author:  wannabeeahack [ Wed Dec 10, 2014 9:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
An elf was walking through the woods when he met a pixie sat in the grass, her hair was disheveled and her dress was in disarray, he asked where she had been


to a Goblin party she replied
Author:  wannabeeahack [ Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tales of Lonely Housewives
a chap went for a dump and whilst in the cubicle he heard ******* and banging on the cubicle wall

and more swearing and banging on the wall


******* bang bang bang


he stood on his toilet and peered over to see a guy about 90 sat on the the bog, in a "excited state" bashing his right hand on the wall

"you ok feller?" he asks


No, the old boy replies "first hard on in 20 years and my arms gone numb now"
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