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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:11 pm 
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my mates going on holiday next week flying with Ryan Air.....................

..............well that's what he thinks anyway !!

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2017 11:09 pm 
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I've ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon;

Any guesses ?


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:56 pm 
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sasha wrote:
I've ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon;

Any guesses ?



they'll both arrive together in the same package :wink: 3 weeks late !! :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 4:10 pm 
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edders23 wrote:
my mates going on holiday next week flying with Ryan Air.....................

..............well that's what he thinks anyway !!



To Antigua

he will be blown away

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 9:15 pm 
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wannabeeahack wrote:
edders23 wrote:
my mates going on holiday next week flying with Ryan Air.....................

..............well that's what he thinks anyway !!



To Antigua

he will be blown away


well once the roof of the hotel is off he'll get plenty of free showers and a new hair style !!

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 9:24 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
A boy asks his dad the difference between theoretically and realistically.
Dad says, that's hard Son, but i have an idea. Ask mum if she would sleep with Wayne Rooney for £1 million.
Mum says yes, said the boy. Dad says, Now go ask your sister if she would.
Sister said yep, said the boy. Dad says, Go ask your brother. Brother said yes, said the boy.
Well there you go Son, that's your answer, Theoretically we are sitting on £3 million quid,
but realistically we are living with 2 slags and a f#cking poof !!

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 4:19 pm 
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bosses at Joe Bloggs cleaning company were flabergasted when they got 40000 applications for their recent vacancy

the add read an ExUberant person needed to join our dynamic team

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2017 3:33 pm 
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Jimmy "deliveroo" McClain went to the offy Friday afternoon on his bike, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bike basket.
As he was about to leave, he thought to himself that if he fell off the bike, the bottle would break and his days earnings would be wasted
So he drank all the Scotch before he cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision because he fell off his bike several times on the way home.

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2017 3:41 pm 
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Location: Hampshire (HC)
It's a shame you didn't proof read your edit before you posted it!!! :wink: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:17 pm 
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cabbyman wrote:
It's a shame you didn't proof read your edit before you posted it!!! :wink: :lol:



have to test to see if anyone is reading them somehow :wink:

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:59 pm 
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I noticed initially because of the age of it. I thought you may have worn yourself out try to recarve the stone! :wink: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 7:19 pm 
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One of my testicles hangs lower than the other two, is this normal ?


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 9:20 pm 
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sasha wrote:
One of my testicles hangs lower than the other two, is this normal ?


ask your wife :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:12 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
A farmer tells his sheep dog to go out and count the sheep.
When the dog comes back, the farmer asks "how many?" and the dog says "100".
"That's odd", says the farmer, "I thought we only had 96 sheep"
"well, you did tell me to round them up" says the dog #-o

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:13 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
An old lady offers the Bus driver some peanuts.
So the Driver happily munches them.
Every five minutes, she gives him a handful more peanuts.
Driver "Why dont you eat them yourself ?"
Old lady "I cant chew, look i have no teeth"
Driver "so why do you buy them ?"
Old lady "Oh, i just love the chocolate around them"

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