Taxi Driver Online

UK cab trade debate and advice
It is currently Wed Jul 18, 2018 2:46 pm

All times are UTC - 1 hour [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 563 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36 ... 38  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 7:57 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2010 6:35 pm
Posts: 1683
I got bitten by a black widow today.
Who knew Winnie Mandella was so angry ! :badgrin:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 8:18 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
My mate got stung by a European Hornet the other day

serves him right for trusting the EU :lol:

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:07 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Spain ... While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?' The waiter replied, 'Si senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro - bull's testicles, from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!' The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.' The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.' The next morning, the cowboy returned early, placed his order and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.' The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins.'

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:42 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:06 pm
Posts: 21508
Location: A City near Birmingham
edders23 wrote:
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Spain ... While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?' The waiter replied, 'Si senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro - bull's testicles, from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!' The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.' The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.' The next morning, the cowboy returned early, placed his order and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.' The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins.'


wouldnt that make the dish El Cajones de El matador? (or Catalan = Boles del Matador)

_________________
Freedom is never free


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:36 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
where is the capital of zimbabwe

in a swiss bank acount

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:39 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
the planned extension to the trophy room at the emirates has been cancelled after market research suggested it would never be needed

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 4:56 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:45 am
Posts: 9429
Location: Clandestine, soon to be Russia.
And the award for the person who took the longest to pick up on a hint goes to Robert Mugabe


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:07 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
Nidge2 wrote:
And the award for the person who took the longest to pick up on a hint goes to Robert Mugabe



has he actually got the hint :shock:

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:17 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
After an Everton player was caught diving at the weekend it was announced today that Tom Daly has been signed to teach them how to do it properly

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:04 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
Manchester united have announced a new sponsorship deal with a biscuit company from now on they will be known as

Jammie Dodger United

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 5:37 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
An Essex Girl and an Irish Guy are in a Bar..
When the Essex Girl notices something strange about the Wellies the Irish guy is wearing.
She says, “S'cuse me mate, I ain’t being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your Wellies ‘ave an L on it and the uva one’s got an R on it”..??
The Irish Guy smiles, puts down his Glass of Guinness and replies,
“Well, I’m a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me Right foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot”
“Jeez.. Cor Blimey Mate”, exclaims the Essex Girl,
“So that's why me Knickers, ‘ave got C&A on them..!”

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 6:41 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 3:06 pm
Posts: 21508
Location: A City near Birmingham
chap moves into a house and decides to wallpaper the lounge, he asks his neighbour how many rolls of wallpaper he bought to do his lounge seeing as all the row of houses were identical

neighbour says he bought 12 rolls

2 weeks later the guy sees the neighbour and says he bought 12 too but had 4 left over






"so did I" said the neighbour........... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

_________________
Freedom is never free


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:41 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:45 am
Posts: 9429
Location: Clandestine, soon to be Russia.
"Meghan Markle can be the new Diana, say charities"
That's good news? Diana was 36 when she had that fatal accident. Meghan is 36 now.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:41 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:45 am
Posts: 9429
Location: Clandestine, soon to be Russia.
What's more embarrassing?
The police finding thousands of pornographic images on your parliamentary computer or having to admit you once nailed Dianne Abbott?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 3:59 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:47 pm
Posts: 11055
Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
Nidge2 wrote:
What's more embarrassing?
The police finding thousands of pornographic images on your parliamentary computer or having to admit you once nailed Dianne Abbott?



yes the memoirs will be interesting :lol: I wouldn't surprised if trotsky has been there :lol:

_________________
Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 563 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36 ... 38  Next

All times are UTC - 1 hour [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 22 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group