Taxi Driver Online

I asked the chemist for some viagra
"You can only get viagra if you can prove you need it" he replied
"well ,Will this picture of my wife do?

Liverpool.

Where family trees don't branch

My mate was having a doggy with a married woman, she was bent over the kitchen table when she heard a car pull up and keys go in the door....

Her husband was a big nasty bloke


"Quick she panted, use the back door"


Well, you dont turn a lady down, ok he got a pasting off hubby but it was worth it

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

The Sunderland team visited an orphanage today. “It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Ant aged 7

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Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !

I'd like to take the band ABBA for lunch. And if I could I would, my friend - For Nandos.

Soon be pancake day, that crepe'd up on us fast !

My optician told me today that I'm colour blind...... That came right out of the orange!

UBER.

Usually Black Ethnic Rapist.

The wife said she wanted to feel special on Valentines Day

So i got her a helmet and some crayons

I just booked a table for valentines night . I fooking hope she likes snooker

"It will soon be vaseline day," said my son.

"eh, you mean Valentines day?"

"I know what I mean, " he said, "by the way, I need to have a talk with you and mam. "

well, After shagging kylie minogue yesterday, I think there are 3 things you should know ? First her fanny is tight as fook, a real struggle to get in to, secondly she takes it over her face without any complaint & thirdly the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable fookers with no sense of humour at all

Paddy says to Murphy, 'My mate came off his motorbike today, he has brain damage, two broken arms and is blind in one eye'

fooking hell, no wonder he came off, says Murphy

"I'm sorry, Tara Palmer-Tompkinson was a selfish attention seeking drug user and a woman of very dubious morals, who would use any man she could to further her so called career in TV. "


Said Katie Price.

A female weightlifter goes into the Doctors and says.
"I've been taking steroids for so long now, I've grown a cock.
"Anabolic"? says the doctor.
"No, just a cock" She replied.