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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 6:56 pm 
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Two Indonesian men have been caught having gay sex by vigilantes, they have been sentenced to public whipping. They plan to get caught again on Friday, Saturday, Next Monday and Wednesday :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 6:57 pm 
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Just got the new Renault Mccann.I parked it outside earlier and now i cant find it :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 7:01 pm 
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My young daughter asked me this morning, "Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night? I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream." "Nothing, darling," I replied. It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half-shaved head


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 Post subject: Protect home from IS
PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 6:18 pm 
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Location: Twixt Heaven and Hell, but nearest Hell
Anti-terrorist kit for home

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 Post subject: Re: Protect home from IS
PostPosted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 2:07 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
wannabeeahack wrote:
Anti-terrorist kit for home

Image



it really isn't funny eusasmiles.zip just sad that people think it is

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 8:28 am 
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*BREAKING NEWS*
2 Muslims have crashed their speedboat into the Thames barrier.
Police have warned that this could be the beginning of ram-a dam!

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 3:11 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
so we have a new force in British politics

the MAYDUP party :lol:

or is it the May Duped party :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Protect home from IS
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 12:22 am 
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Location: Braintree, Essex.
wannabeeahack wrote:
Anti-terrorist kit for home

Image



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2017 10:10 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home ... and guess what I found? Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable! The end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"Paddy, there, I told you it must be a simple explanation...........


..She never got your Email

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 6:47 pm 
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My mate says that the cost of living is so bad his wife is forced to have sex with him because she can't afford batteries

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 7:23 am 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
My mate is always looking for ways to save money. he's in the doghouse though because the other week he decided to save money by cutting up a pair of rubber gloves to make home made condoms.

how was he to know his wife had been using them to clean the oven ?

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:27 pm 
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Just bought some counterfeit Mr Kiplings.....I must say they're exceedingly good fakes

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:25 pm 
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Chap went to the cops saying he thought his wife might be dead

cops asked wht he thought that


"well, the sex is the same but the washings piling up"

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2017 3:16 pm 
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I was pulled over by the police today, in my car.
I wound down my window and the copper said, "Would you like to have a guess sir?"
I said, "30?"
"Try 45." He replied.
I said, "It's that hat, it takes years off you, I'll have to get myself one."

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2017 5:46 pm 
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Wrestling is such a pointless sport, a bunch of men with no trousers fighting for a belt!

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