Taxi Driver Online

my mate went for a Job interview yesterday. DVSA Vehicle inspector roadside operative.

The interview was a complete success, the practical and theory questions were a doddle for all his years of mechanical experience.

However it was a straight fail at the Medical due to being Circumcised some years back.

Apparently you need to be a complete Pr*CK to get a job there......

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A mate of mine is selling his dogging gear on ebay

he's not had any bids yet but he's got 77 watchers

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Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !

A devout Arab Muslim got into a cab in London. She curtly asked the 'cab driver' to turn off the radio because her religious doctrine forbade her listening to music.
The Cab driver politely asked why.
His passenger replied that in the time of the Holy Prophet there was no music, especially Western music, which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door for his passenger to disembark.
The Arab Muslim was surprised and asked him: "What are you doing???"
The Cab driver answered:
"In the time of the Holy Prophet, there were no taxis, no bombs, no plane hijacks, no west invented loud speakers in mosques that woke up newly born, the elderly and the sick at unearthly hours, no suicide attacks, no AK 47;
only 'PEACE' everywhere.
So shut the fook up, get Out and wait for a camel.

I've just had terrible news from America that my brother has died of natural causes.

He was shot.

Uber has hired a nasa scientist to develop a flying car. so in the future passengers will be able to experience the mile high club as they are raped by a failed asylum seeker before crashing into a tree and being killed

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Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !

Ranji is a 9 year old boy living in Namibia. He only has 1 leg, 1 arm, and 1 eye. Each day, Ranji has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes, and only the opposite pedal. If you send just £2, I’ll send you the video, it’s fucking hilarious.

I pulled a Gypsy bird last night, she asked me did I want to go back to hers for a good time. ... She wasn`t kidding I went on the Dodgems, Waltzers, Ghost Train and came home with a Fooking Goldfish

On my first day in prison, my cellmate said to me, "If you ever come close to me, I'll fooking skin you. When we're sleeping, you don't fooking touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either."

"Fooking great," I thought, "first day in here and I'm already married."

Police have just knocked and asked me to do something about my union flag. " it could offend Muslim's" he said.

So I have wrote Allah is a cunt on it to be sure.

Ah well, l the WD40 got rid of the squeak, but my little girl's guinea pig has also stopped blinking....

what do you call an uber driver who accepts guide dogs ?




.............................................Blind !!!

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Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !

I went to volunteer at the Tourette's Society but they told me to fuck off