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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 1:32 pm 
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wannabeeahack wrote:
edders23 wrote:
When I heard you can be a Sperm donor by post.....

I came in a Jiffy.


Chap went to donate blood, being the USA he got $20

being skint he went round again..........$20

so....he went again...........................got told he had given enough in 1 week

but he saw a sign for sperm donors.......$50

thinks yayyyy, knock one out $50

so he got in the queue

he was almost at the door when he realised a woman was stood behind him in the queue

he turned and said "miss, you know this is for sperm donors?"

she just nodded her head up and down



Image

:lol: :lol: :lol:


reminds me of the time i came home early from work & caught our lass lying on the bed, naked from the waste down, another lass fiddling around with her down below, so i thought great & decided to knock one out , then all fooking hell broke lose :shock: fooking midwives, no sense of humour at all :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:42 pm 
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edders23 wrote:
I was in the record shop last week. I asked the assistant, "Where do you keep your Aerosmith albums?"

She replied "Walk this way!"


Tidied it for ya mate :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2016 4:15 pm 
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went for my medical the other day

doc- well you are gonna have to stop masturbating ven mate
me - why ? what's up
doc- im trying to examine you , you tvvat !


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2016 1:03 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
I've just opened an early Christmas present; it was a Womble pepper mill.

It's rubbish, everything that comes out is either overground or underground...

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2016 2:53 pm 
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edders23 wrote:
I've just opened an early Christmas present; it was a Womble pepper mill.

It's rubbish, everything that comes out is either overground or underground...


fooking class that mate :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: =D> =D>


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2016 6:23 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
I was reading a news story about a worker at a cereal factory who drowned in a vat of muesli....apparently he was pulled under by a strong currant....

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2016 7:58 pm 
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edders23 wrote:
I was reading a news story about a worker at a cereal factory who drowned in a vat of muesli....apparently he was pulled under by a strong currant....


:lol: my grandmother used to work in a candle factory, it burned down & everyone just stood about singing happy birthday


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:33 pm 
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I was fooking furious when I found my wife's profile on an on-line dating website.

That lying bitch , she isn't "Fun to be around." at all


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:35 pm 
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I've just noticed the Mrs is wearing her sexy underwear.

This can only mean one thing...

She's behind with the washing.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:36 pm 
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Seen my mate the today, he's only got one arm, "Where you off to," I shouted. "Change a light bulb," he said.
"That will be hard wont it" I asked.
"Why," he said, "I've still got the receipt."


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:45 pm 
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I was sitting in the house & there was a knock at the front door, so i opened it ,there were 2 coppers standing there. i said "is there is a problem lads?" one of the coppers asks if i was married, i said , “ aye.” The copper then asks if he could see a picture of wor lass . I said aye nowts a bother mate, and got a photo to show them. The copper says, “I’m sorry, mate, but it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck.” i said , "aye , I knarr, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.”


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:51 pm 
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so, wor lass has recently decided to try her hand at cooking and today handed me one of her freshly baked biscuits, "Now be brutally honest." She smiled, "I'm open to criticism."

I said, "well, they're quite nice, you fat basdid."


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:59 pm 
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Guest in hotel ,I`d like the porn in my room to be disabled

Receptionist : We only have regular porn you sick fook!!!


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2016 7:22 pm 
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my lass wants a divorce, she said that " im getting too self important"
i nearly fell off my fooking throne :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2016 9:14 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
whats the difference between a UKIP member and a Tory ...............









The UKIP member was rejected by the tories :lol:

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