edders23 wrote:
I hear trotsky applied for another job with greggs for new year..................
but the roll had already been filled
but the roll had already been filled
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| New Jokes thread http://www.taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=28380 |
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Sun Dec 18, 2016 5:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
edders23 wrote: I hear trotsky applied for another job with greggs for new year.................. but the roll had already been filled
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| Author: | edders23 [ Mon Dec 19, 2016 12:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
So how do you circumcise a whale? Send down four skin divers. |
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| Author: | sasha [ Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I'm releasing a Christmas single 'Duvet Know Its Christmas', It's a cover. Bought some Jamie Oliver sausages, the packet says 'p r i c k with a fork'. Bit harsh, he does a lot for charity. |
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
sasha wrote: I'm releasing a Christmas single 'Duvet Know Its Christmas', It's a cover. Bought some Jamie Oliver sausages, the packet says 'p r i c k with a fork'. Bit harsh, he does a lot for charity. surely that cant be [edited by admin] edited out ffs it was on a taxi drivers forum often frequented by 10 year old lads & lasses , unbelievable tbh 
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| Author: | edders23 [ Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Christmas really is a magical time... All my money has disappeared into thin air!
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| Author: | edders23 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 7:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Today I was at the bakery. I was 5 min in the store and when I got out, there is a traffic warden and she is writing a parking ticket! I to her: "I was only 5 minutes at the baker!" She ignores me and fills in the ticket. Coolly: "You can not park here. In addition, I advise you to calm down, otherwise it will be even more expensive!" So she got on my nerves, so I called her a stupid itch and told her where she could put her ticket book. Since the lady at once totally annoyed and rambled about my display and worse ticket for me. Then I lost my temper and told her I thought she was the hooker of the office and if she were looking for another place on the street, she could earn more. She became pale, clamped the ticket behind the windshield wiper and marched away. I did not care, I was there on foot!
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I bumped into my ex lass in town earlier, I said: "How's your new bloke?" "He's twice the man you are," she sneered, "what about your new woman?" I said, "thankfully she's half the woman you are, you fat clunt." |
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
ISIS Awards Night: And the 2016 best suicide bomber award goes to ...... Mohammed. Unfortunately, Mohammed can't be with us tonight.....
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
In a recent survey when asked if immigration was a problem 28% of people said yes, the other 72% said ديموقراطية |
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
My dwarf girlfriend went to work this morning upset with me, because I've been taking the pi$$ out of her size. So I'm going all out to make it up to her tonight. I've got a good bottle of wine in and bought her the latest dvd box set of her favourite programme. When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favourite takeaway for her tea, then go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink, fingers crossed 
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I've only been in jail 5 minutes and been bummed 3 times  My uncle doesn't fook about playing monolpoly
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Got a lift in to work from a Pakistani colleague today, and had to listen to 'Bhangra FM' for the whole journey. I didn't want to appear racially insensitive and offend his culture by reaching over and changing the radio station. Plus, I didn't want to accidentally detonate the car
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| Author: | ven2112 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those fooking carbon monoxide detectors
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| Author: | edders23 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
ven2112 wrote: ISIS Awards Night: And the 2016 best suicide bomber award goes to ...... Mohammed. Unfortunately, Mohammed can't be with us tonight..... that one is extreme right field
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| Author: | edders23 [ Sat Dec 24, 2016 9:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
ven2112 wrote: I bumped into my ex lass in town earlier, I said:
"How's your new bloke?" "He's twice the man you are," she sneered, "what about your new woman?" I said, "thankfully she's half the woman you are, when we are in bed together it isn't like sleeping on a steep hill." |
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