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New Jokes thread
http://www.taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=28380
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Author:  sasha [ Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

Uber vetting ;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlYgQgQhvp4

Author:  ven2112 [ Mon Jan 02, 2017 2:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

sasha wrote:



Thats fooking brilliant that mate :lol: :lol: :lol: love family guy me like :lol: sent my old man this clip when he had kidney stones , said dont worry man, loads of famous people have had them :lol: wasn't amused mind, he was in agony at the time though :lol: :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7Ghu_wzHcg

Author:  edders23 [ Tue Jan 03, 2017 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR dick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut it."

Author:  ven2112 [ Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

"Your Majesty, what's the secret to a long life?"

"Well Kate, don't leave William for a fooking Muslim. "

Author:  grandad [ Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

ven2112 wrote:
"Your Majesty, what's the secret to a long life?"

"Well Kate, don't leave William for a fooking Muslim. "

Ouch!

Author:  ven2112 [ Sat Jan 07, 2017 2:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

grandad wrote:
ven2112 wrote:
"Your Majesty, what's the secret to a long life?"

"Well Kate, don't leave William for a fooking Muslim. "

Ouch!


:badgrin: :wink:

Author:  ven2112 [ Sat Jan 07, 2017 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

My mate's missus has just left him and she's taken the satellite dish and all the Bob Marley CDs. Poor fella...

No woman, no Sky, :lol: :lol:

Author:  ven2112 [ Sat Jan 07, 2017 3:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

wor lass was trying to be sexy last night.
She lay on the bed licking a lollipop then she slowly started to slide it in her minge
"Steady on love" I said "You're going to need that when you cross the kids over the road for school in the morning :lol: :lol:

Author:  sasha [ Sat Jan 07, 2017 8:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

Bunch of naturists are having a get together next week.
I might go if I've nothing on.

Author:  ven2112 [ Wed Jan 11, 2017 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

"Did you know that making a girl laugh is the second best way to get a girl into bed?" I said to my date.

"Really?" she asked. "What's the first?"

"A big fook off knife!" I replied.

"Ha-ha, you're funny," she said.

"Well done, you've made a sensible choice."

Author:  ven2112 [ Wed Jan 11, 2017 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

I'm doing dry January this year. It's nothing to do with alcohol. It's just that the wife's on the menopause.

Author:  ven2112 [ Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

I parked in a disabled bay this morning,
The traffic warden said "Hey, what's your disability?"

I said "Tourettes, now fook off you officious clunt faced basdid"

Author:  sasha [ Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

Did you hear about Rick Parfitts funeral ?
Apparantly they buried him deep down, down down deeper and down ! :badgrin:

Author:  ven2112 [ Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

The waiter asked, "Would you like to hear today's special?"

"Yes please," I smiled.

"Today is special," he replied, then walked off, the clunt :lol:

Author:  ven2112 [ Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: New Jokes thread

wor lass is a big tennis fan and was telling me how distracting she finds the constant grunting noises during the women's matches.

I have promised her I will stop. :lol:

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