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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:01 pm 
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"It will soon be vaseline day," said my son.

"eh, you mean Valentines day?"

"I know what I mean, " he said, "by the way, I need to have a talk with you and mam. " :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:03 pm 
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well, After shagging kylie minogue yesterday, I think there are 3 things you should know ? First her fanny is tight as fook, a real struggle to get in to, secondly she takes it over her face without any complaint & thirdly the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable fookers with no sense of humour at all :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:08 pm 
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Paddy says to Murphy, 'My mate came off his motorbike today, he has brain damage, two broken arms and is blind in one eye'

fooking hell, no wonder he came off, says Murphy :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:12 pm 
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"I'm sorry, Tara Palmer-Tompkinson was a selfish attention seeking drug user and a woman of very dubious morals, who would use any man she could to further her so called career in TV. "


Said Katie Price.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:14 pm 
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A female weightlifter goes into the Doctors and says.
"I've been taking steroids for so long now, I've grown a cock.
"Anabolic"? says the doctor.
"No, just a cock" She replied.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:33 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
ven2112 wrote:
Paddy says to Murphy, 'My mate came off his motorbike today, he has brain damage, two broken arms and is blind in one eye'

fooking hell, no wonder he came off, says Murphy :lol: :lol:



=D> =D>

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 6:33 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
ven2112 wrote:
"I'm sorry, Tara Palmer-Tompkinson was a selfish attention seeking drug user and a woman of very dubious morals, who would use any man she could to further her so called career in TV. "


Said Katie Price.



meeeooowwwww :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:41 pm 
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N.U.F.C supporters,
Try to remember, when you next go to an all you can eat buffet,
It's an offer, not a challenge :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:45 pm 
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Top Tip lads ..

If you lose your wife when shopping , don't spend ages looking for her , just stare at a young bird with big tits and she will magicaly appear beside you


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:48 pm 
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I'm going to start a business in India but have my call centre in Scotland.
Let's see how them fookers like it


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:52 pm 
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What do you call an 30 stone teenage American?

Anorexic :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:53 pm 
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Thank fook I went to a psychic. She told me someone was going to swindle me out of some money...

Best 100 quid I've ever spent!


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:57 pm 
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My new girfriend has told me I'm chit in bed.

I can't see how she's reached that conclusion in less than a minute :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:59 pm 
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Being bipolar really sucks :cry: . Anyway, it's pretty good :D


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:05 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
Pat sets Murphy up on a blind date.

"She's really nice girl Murphy, good looking and kind. You and her will get on like a house on fire. I need warn you though, she is expecting a Baby"

So Murphy goes on the date, next day he's back at work and grumpy. Pat asks how the date went.

Terrible Pat, she turned up late with the big fat belly and I'm sat at the Bar frozen, wearing a Nappy and a frilly bonnet.........

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