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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 2:39 pm 
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ven2112 wrote:
A boy who lives with his grandmother can't find his missing drugs so he goes to her and asks, "Grandma, have you seen my pills labeled LSD?"

She replies, fook ya pills , have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 5:51 pm 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
Paddy O'flannagan after blowing his weeks wages down the pub staggers into the confessional box at the church. After nearly ten minutes of the silence the priest bangs on the wall

"it's no use banging on the wall" shouts paddy "there's no bog roll this side either"

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 8:17 pm 
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Location: Clandestine, soon to be Russia.
Prince William is said to be exhausted after his first year as an Air Ambulance Pilot. I feel like I have spent all my life climbing on and off Choppers, said his Aunty Sarah. 8) 8) 8)


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 9:47 pm 
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With the ban on Russian Athletes at the Rio Olympics, their only Barbed Wire hurdler has announced he is quitting the sport.

Ivan Tornabollockov will no longer be competing......

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2016 4:19 pm 
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A female Russian shotputter has been banned from the Rio olympics after officials discovered she had 5lbs of crack in her knickers :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2016 4:23 pm 
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A Russian weightlifter is suspected to have taken steroids after her balls fell out of her shorts whilst attempting to lift 200kgs. :p


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2016 4:25 pm 
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A Russian athlete is suspected to have taken performance enhancing drugs after breaking the world high-jump record, whilst competing in the 110m hurdles :p


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2016 10:30 am 
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edders23 wrote:
Paddy O'flannagan after blowing his weeks wages down the pub staggers into the confessional box at the church. After nearly ten minutes of the silence the priest bangs on the wall

"it's no use banging on the wall" shouts paddy "there's no bog roll this side either"


like it =D> =D>

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 11:17 am 
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Location: A City near Birmingham
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 11:20 am 
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ven2112 wrote:
I really hate being a depressed atheist.
Nothing to fooking live for, nothing to fooking die for.


The Dyslexic Agnostic was sure there was no dog

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:39 am 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:16 am 
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A couple of Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They told me it'd be like winning the lottery.....

To my horror, it turned out they were right, we had six matching balls.

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:54 pm 
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After shagging Cheryl Cole yesterday, I think there are 3 things you should know..... First, her fanny is tight as [edited by admin], a real struggle to get in, secondly she takes it over her face without any complaint (good girl) & thirdly the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable [edited by admin] with no sense of humour....:)

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2016 5:02 pm 
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Went to my allotment and found that there was twice as much soil as there was the week before. The plot thickens

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2016 6:58 pm 
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There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb a fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and i thought, well that's a little condescending

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