never had one for a while

i will start with a few chit ones !
My GF dressed up as a policewoman... "You're being charged for being good in bed", after 2 mins she dropped the charge for lack of evidence
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Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?
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A German walks into a Library and asks for a book on war... The Librarian says "Fook off - you lost the last 2 you had".
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The wife and I decided to flip a coin to see what our new born son should be called. He's called Tails
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When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.
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I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.'
If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.
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come on then you miserable fookers
