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I drive a taxi for Roseville,
Racing around, like Damon Hill,
The more you do,
The more you earn,
So let's spin the wheels,
And let rubber burn,
Two quid for my boss,
Ten for me,
Changing trip sheets accordingly,
Crafty creaming, that's the trick,
But surely my boss isn't so thick,
With decent drivers,
They're hard to find,
Especially when they're robbing him blind,
I work the night shift,
It's lots more fun,
Than wheelchairs on a school run,
And decent jobs on tariff two,
With all the drunks about to spu,
Who always moan,
"The fares not right"
When all they really want is a fight,
The female fares are really nice,
Offer blow jobs,
Fares half price!,
And then you'll get an ugly bag,
Who's only interest,
Is a shag,
"Pay that fare, what's on that meter"
"God your such an ugly creature"
Then back to base,
For my next fare,
Who I get, what do I care,
When someone waves,
And tries to flag me,
Slam my brakes,
And slide my taxi,
Gradually I come to stop,
"How much mate, to mow cop"
Ten to fifteen quid I say
"That's not what I used to pay"
"Will you take me home for nine"
[edited by admin] off mate, don't waste my time,
My next fare looks like a shady [edited by admin],
If better get some cash upfront,
Ten quid now, if you don't mind,
Knowing people of your kind,
And then he turns,
And says to me,
"Give me all of your money!"
No chance mate,
I've worked all night,
I'll not give in without a fight,
A big mistake,
A massive blunder,
I know my future is six feet under,
I see his fist,
A flash of light,
This must be curtains,
So goodnight,
Then I can see,
I'm so surprised,
I'm outside the vehicle,
But my body is still inside,
No-one here,
No-one else around,
Base operators voice is the only sound
Could this be it, the afterlife,
Trouble free and no more strife,
When suddenly, a great white light,
Steals the darkness, from the night,
And I re-appear at heavens gate,
With angels chanting "alpha eight"
_________________
Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most
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