Taxi Driver Online

A very good freind of mine from Brighton has sent me this and allowed me to copy it, providing he remains anon.

It's aimed at the new Brighton and Hove plate holders that have received them from the waiting list, including Mr 26 Years, but could be used throughout the UK to any new plate holder.

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To all those drivers, who have (after many years of waiting) been offered a hackney carriage plate, could you all please be aware of the following additional conditions being put on the drivers, of these new hackney carriage vehicles.

These conditions have been tightly adhered too for many years, by those drivers who have, like you, received new hackney carriage plates via the waiting list.


Condition 1
Thou shall at once, forget and erase memory of your private hire existence. It never happened.

Condition 2
Thou shall, again at once, forget and erase any memory of your friendships and acquaintances with your now ex-private hire colleagues. They are no more.

Condition 3
On receipt of your new hackney carriage plate, thou shall lobby the council, to ensure there are no further issues of hackney carriage plates. You must at every opportunity repeat the words "there are far too many taxis".

Condition 4
When you are ranked up with your new buddies, and a private hire vehicle drives past, you must state loudly that they "shouldn't have roof lights".

Condition 5
Every time you see a private hire vehicle pick up a customer, you must at once, put out of your mind any inkling that such a pick up is an authorised one. They are not.
You must at once flash your lights, beep your horn, and shout out of your window that such a pick up is unlawful. You must then repeat everything you have seen to your new buddies on the rank. They will be so proud of you.

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Nuff said.

I wonder if there is a district out there, where none of this has happened.

It reminds me of the sudden change of personality by Kevin the teenager, although perhaps a lot worse.

Well it lasted longer than I thought.
On the regional news tonight, one of the lads who has just got a plate, was collared on a rank today by the local regional TV news.
He said that he didnt want deregulation because he has just spent 30 grand on a new motor.
You av got to laff.

Somethings, and somepeople, and some trades, just never change.