McALPINE.
MSP Joan McAlpine had to apologise to fellow MSP’s for showing disrespect to the Scottish Parliament. She couldn’t be ****ing bothered to turn up in chamber during her ministerial questions slot but instead lunched with Alex Salmond where it is reported she had smoked venison with Strathdon blue cheese dressing and poached red wine pear, followed by breast of Scottish chicken with grilled asparagus chorizo, olives and parma ham. She admitted “the fault is mine, I completely lost track of time which I do a lot when I am trying to be a ridiculous fancy pants posh t***”. This is the sixth time Mzzzzzzzzzzzz McAlpine, because if anyone is a Mzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz it’s her, just couldn’t be a*sed representing her constituents in parliament. Not that she calls them constituents, she much prefers the phrase “the little people that I don’t give a flying **** about”. Kind of serves her “little people” right for being stupid enough to vote her in in the first place. Especially since her campaign literature stated clearly, that if elected it would all be about her and if you’ve a problem with damp housing or anti social behaviour: “Tough titty, me and my over inflated opinion of myself will be too busy swanning being nowhere near as important as I think I am”
At least when Labour MSP Frank MacAveety turned up late in parliament he was late because he’d been eating Scotch pie and chips, and he did turn up, eventually. McAlpine though, she views a Scotch pie and chips with the same look of distaste she has when she meets one of her constituents.
McAlpine was due in chamber to ask a question about osteoarthritis and the effect it has on the NHS, But the question wasn’t asked so we don’t know what effect it has on the NHS. She’ll be there next week though because the question she’ll ask them concerns something very close her heart.
The question will be “Here, will a daily diet of smoked venison with Strathdon blue cheese dressing and poached red wine pear, followed by breast of Scottish chicken with grilled asparagus chorizo, olives and parma ham give me gout?”.
As I said, she’s all about her.
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