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So, the cull of regular customers who engage taxis knowing their destination falls within the drop of the flag, and who are known to pay with a £20 note, while offering no tip for the driver and demanding a receipt, has begun.
Centrifugal cabs representative was quoted as commenting, 'It would appear that the individual concerned stepped out in front of a taxi when the magic circle was on, and the driver was acting as instructed to ignore street hails to meet the needs of the company's private hire customers.'
He went on, 'Raising your hand and then stepping out in front of an on coming taxi with its hire light on which is rushing to serve the needs of a valued customer, is foolish in the extreme.'
The marketing manager of t*tty Cabs, Mistress Pillo Toch, offered that the peak period meant that taxis were under stress and doing their best to meet the increased demand. And they would continue to do so, but asked that the public recognised the trade's difficulty and understand why it was necessary for them to be patient.
Pressed on why more taxis were not added to the fleet, Mistress Toch added that it was not in anyone's interests for the council's protection racket to be ended, saying that more taxis, while meeting demand more readily, would mean that cabbniggrs would then earn less with the diminshing work being spread more thinly.
Asked whether the lack of taxis was the reason why the available work was diminishing, Mistress Pillo pouted, "Not at all. Customers waiting for service happens in all walks of commercial life. Customers just have to realise this and queue at the official taxi ranks, and the trade will get round to them as soon as it can. And, if the customers wish, they have the option of walking home, hitching a lift, or using the excellent council run bus service, which would free up taxis for real customers, who value being granted a lift home in a licensed taxi."
Meanwhile, a spokesman for Cops Ecosse said, "This individual is lucky. He's still alive, for now. Had he been a female, then we might be dealing with a serious sexual assault as well."
If you have any information about this incident, please call Cops Ecosse on their hotline below.
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Skull, "You are a police inspector, aren't you?"
Cab Inspector Smith, "Yes."
Skull, "So, are you going to tell Mr Taylor what his rights are?"
Smith, "And ... What rights?"
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