Thousands flee England to escape SNP tyranny

No-one can repulse the 'Devils in skirts'

There were chaotic scenes across England today as tens of thousands of people fled the country rather than stay and face up to the prospect of the Scottish National Party taking power. The crisis reached a tipping point as today’s Daily Mail front page headline, ‘Scottish Natzis coming to kill your families and drive down house prices’, triggered widespread panic.

In towns and cities across the country, the army had to be called to restore order after several banks were stormed by desperate pensioners looking to withdraw life savings and leave the country, despite being told that all the money was gone anyway. The government appealed for calm, while admitting privately that that an SNP-Labour deal on May 8th would see Scottish nationalists pouring over the border spreading disease and eating English children to keep their strength up on their relentless march to Westminster.

In the capital there was widespread looting and rioting as hysterical crowds drunk on the words of Piers Morgan went on the rampage amid rumours that Nicola Sturgeon and her barbarian hordes had already reached Watford Gap Services. ‘It’s no exaggeration to say that the SNP are the greatest threat to civilisation ever known to mankind,’ wrote Morgan in his Mail Online column. ‘Greater even than the threat posed by ISIS, Hitler and the films of Adam Sandler.’

Broadcasting from his bunker below Downing Street, David Cameron spoke to the nation on Monday evening and invoked the spirit of Winston Churchill. ‘Just as we stood together against Hitler, so must we stand up against Nicola Sturgeon as she attempts to conquer Britain by surrendering our nuclear weapons and spending the money on education and hospitals. No, hang on, that can’t be right….’

Meanwhile along the north coast of France coastguards and emergency services have been working round the clock to cope with boat loads of Daily Mail readers crossing the Channel in dangerously overcrowded makeshift vessels.

‘They come here seeking a better life and to get away from persecution,’ said François Berthand, manager of the Calais Detention Centre known locally as ‘Little England’. ‘They come here telling tales of being forced to eat Tunnocks tea-cakes, ceilidh dancing and longer-term deficit reduction strategies. Some weep uncontrollably and hug and kiss us. When they start being nice to the French, you know something must have really spooked them’.

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2015/04/21/t ... p-tyranny/

CC let's keep this thread for the lighter side of life, don't lock it just chop the cnuts with no sense of humour