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New employee policies
http://www.taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4472		 Page 1 of 3
Author:  kermit2482 [ Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  New employee policies
THE NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

You are advised to come to work dressed according to your

salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we

will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not

need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money

better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do

not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and

therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of

sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to

work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are

called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do

for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should

be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements.

In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the

funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be

glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and

subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.

There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At

the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper

roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will

be taken.

After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the

company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under

the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat

more, so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced

meal to maintain their average figure.

Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the

time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

Pass this on to all who are employed.
Author:  kermit2482 [ Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
So what do you think of that one then Mr GMB, he he he :lol: :lol:
Author:  GMB Branch secretary [ Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:18 pm ]
Post subject:  new employee
All could be true if stinking vermin get in,and the workers show the LACK OF GUTS so ably demonstrated on here.No doubt Mr T and the Captain already run similiar routines.On their exploited drivers.Ok OK KERMIT its good thank you too good an oppurtunity to miss for a bit of agg,and no Royals MUST HAVE A DRINK NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Author:  GMB Branch secretary [ Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:18 pm ]
Post subject:  new employee
All could be true if stinking vermin get in,and the workers show the LACK OF GUTS so ably demonstrated on here.No doubt Mr T and the Captain already run similiar routines.On their exploited drivers.Ok OK KERMIT its good thank you too good an oppurtunity to miss for a bit of agg,and no Royals MUST HAVE A DRINK NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Author:  Sussex [ Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: new employee
GMB Branch secretary wrote:
All could be true if stinking vermin get in

And there was me thinking they already had. :roll: :roll:
Author:  GMB Branch secretary [ Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  employee
Sussex your naievety is amazing.this lot are kust vermin the other lot TORYS are the stinking vermin.Consider yourself educated,must get you on shop a stewards course soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDUCATE EDUCATE EDUCATE
Author:  captain cab [ Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
No doubt Mr T and the Captain already run similiar routines


ofcourse, you have proof?

oops you dont do you, now shut up until you know what the [edited by admin] you're on about :lol:

CC
Author:  MR T [ Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: new employee
GMB Branch secretary wrote:
All could be true if stinking vermin get in,and the workers show the LACK OF GUTS so ably demonstrated on here.No doubt Mr T and the Captain already run similiar routines.On their exploited drivers.Ok OK KERMIT its good thank you too good an oppurtunity to miss for a bit of agg,and no Royals MUST HAVE A DRINK NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1





Exploiter drivers, you do not know all the Liverpool people they would shove it right up your arse, the only peopl that have exploited the people had been union officials with big gobs that promise everything and deliver nothing , and then vanish, oh yes they always blame everyone else when they fail, the bit that always gets me are the [edited by admin] that do not know our trade, that have [edited by admin] up their own and then tell us where we are going wrong,and when they're finished we have to pick up the pieces: :shock: Oh and did I forget draw a a bloody good wage while there at it.....
Author:  MR T [ Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: new employee
GMB Branch secretary wrote:
All could be true if stinking vermin get in,and the workers show the LACK OF GUTS so ably demonstrated on here.No doubt Mr T and the Captain already run similiar routines.On their exploited drivers.Ok OK KERMIT its good thank you too good an oppurtunity to miss for a bit of agg,and no Royals MUST HAVE A DRINK NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1





Exploiter drivers, you do not know all the Liverpool people they would shove it right up your arse, the only peopl that have exploited the people had been union officials with big gobs that promise everything and deliver nothing , and then vanish, oh yes they always blame everyone else when they fail, the bit that always gets me are the [edited by admin] that do not know 8) our trade, that have [edited by admin] up their own and then tell us where we are going wrong,and when they're finished we have to pick up the pieces: :shock: Oh and did I forget draw a a bloody good wage while there at it.....
Author:  MR T [ Sat Sep 30, 2006 1:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Terence one-day you and I will meet and when we do there will be one man standing and it will not be you and you will answer to this Mr T and the Captain already run similiar routines.On their exploited drivers...
Author:  rambo [ Sat Sep 30, 2006 3:16 am ]
Post subject: 
GMB, you cannot honestly belive that a tory goverment would be worse that this labour goverment?.
The current goverment have screwed this country right up.
Author:  GBC [ Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Terry.

Are you pizzed when you log on?

It could answer a lot of questions. :wink:

Nice to see your 'brother' Dave has arrived to give you some support.

. . . . . or perhaps releive you of your post? :-$
Author:  south london cab [ Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dear oh dear

Mr T if you do join up we will have to teach you not to threaten anything in writing. What if Terry is accosted by some unknown assailent. Your right in the frame now.

As for Kermit, quite amusing that is what would go down as a progressive employer in our trade only their not the employers are they. We employ them. That is unless we are talking about the real gangster types who tie the drivers up by flogging them rust buckets on the never never and allegedly arranging their insurance etc etc. It is the worst kind of exploitation of decent but vunerable people and it is completly out of order.

Sussex you seem like a sensible bloke and in all seriousness I wonder at times when I read about things like the 70 billion that has been spent on "consultants" since son of Thatcher came to power in 1997. The thing is if the workers party has been taken over by the enemy then it is down to us to take it back (if you go on a sight called John4Leader you will see what I am talking about). The same principle applies in a union as I was just explaining to Mr T on the section 75 posts. As it happens the principle applies in our industry.

Rambo you seem like a decent bloke but don't get confused mate parliament is only there to administrate on behalf of those who really run the show so there is there is an arguement that voting for tweedle dee or tweedle dumb every four or five years makes no difference. The thing is though that if we have accountable labour politicians in there it will be a lot better for ordinary working people like you and me. Have a look at that sight I advised Sussex about I would be really interested in the views of people like you as oppossed to others who masquerade as something their clearly not.

If that offends some on here all I can say is if the cap fits.

At last GBC a real battle of wits with the intelligentsia of the trade. The names Steve not Dave but if you want to carry on calling me Dave feel free trig.

As for releiving brother Flanagan of his post forget it. The only releiving I will be doing is on the heads of the scumbags who exploit the drivers in this industry.
Author:  MR T [ Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Mr T if you do join up we will have to teach you not to threaten anything in writing. What if Terry is accosted by some unknown assailent. Your right in the frame now.

It was not a threat, it was a promise, there are more ways to skin a cat... 8)
Author:  kermit2482 [ Sat Sep 30, 2006 5:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
oh dear oh dear :shock: :shock:
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