"It's pointless coming up with rules and regulations when most of them are non-enforceable. For instance, a taxi licence would grant us the ok' for a maximum of eight people in a limo - but my fire engine holds up to 14".

I don't know about you guys, but I have always found it difficult to take my clothes off whilst wearing a seatbelt.

Lose some weight

Bloody hell, I'm only 8 stone wet through as it is.

"It's pointless coming up with rules and regulations when most of them are non-enforceable. For instance, a taxi licence would grant us the ok' for a maximum of eight people in a limo - but my fire engine holds up to 14.

September 5, 2007 Wednesday

Lap-dancing is barred in hearses!

Free Press Series

MONMOUTHSHIRE County Council's licensing committee met this week to discuss laws governing the use of limousines, fire engines and hearses as private hire vehicles - and effectively banned 'striptease, lap- dancing, pole-dancing or any other activity or performance of a like kind' from taking place inside any of these vehicles.

In an attempt to regulate relatively new businesses who have started up private-hire companies, the council met to discuss a set of guidelines for them to adhere to.

But Richard Parker, owner of The Limo People, in Caldicot, said: "Why don't they invite us along, then?

"It's pointless coming up with rules and regulations when most of them are non-enforceable. For instance, a taxi licence would grant us the ok' for a maximum of eight people in a limo - but my fire engine holds up to 14.

"From my experience, I don't think any local council seem to understand the laws regarding private hire vehicles at all. The words chocolate' and teapot' spring to mind."

On the subject of strippers or lap-dancers in any of his vehicles, Richard said: "In all the time I've run my business, there's been one or two instances of a stripper on board.

"Ordinarily, the person hiring the vehicle would have to clear it with me, but generally speaking what a client gets up to in his own time is none of my business.

"To be honest, most strippers don't like to be in confined spaces away from any bodyguards or minders."

As well as a fire engine, Hummers and six stretch limousines, Richard's company also boasts a Scooby Doo van that eagle-eyed Free Press readers may have spotted.

The chairman of Monmouthshire County Council's licensing committee, Councillor Ted Dorel, said: "The licensing committee meeting did have a presentation regarding licensing issues in limousines, but I do not want to comment further on the matter until I have more of the information at hand."

Commenting on just how a stripper could perform in the confines of the back of a car in the first place, Cllr Armand Watts said: "I very much doubt, although I can't be certain, that the chairman of licensing Cllr Ted Dorel has any knowledge of pole dancers performing in stretch limos.

"Nevertheless, where talent is a dwarf, self-esteem is a giant."
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effectively banned 'striptease, lap- dancing, pole-dancing or any other