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taximan
PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:38 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2004 11:24 am
Posts: 125
Location: Royal Forest of Dean
London teen orders 'cab, innit'
Retail display supplier duly obliges
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A 19-year-old Saaarf London girl has been advised to use the Queen's English on the phone after her hunt for a cab to whisk her to Bristol airport ended less than satisfactorily.

According to the Daily Mail, the unnamed teen rang directory enquiries two weeks ago and initially requested a number for a "Joe Baxi" firm. The nonplussed operator told her she couldn't find anyone by that name, to which the lass replied: “It ain’t a person, it’s a cab, innit.”

The enlightened operator duly put her through to Bishop’s Stortford-based retail display supplier Displaysense, where she "spoke to an equally bemused saleswoman" before thundering: “Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?”

The answer was £180, and with the deal done by credit card, Displaysense obliged by delivering a display cabinet to her door the next morning.

Cue second phone chat with Displaysense. The company's marketing manager, Steve Whittle, recounted: "We thought it was a joke at first but the girl was absolutely livid. Because she spoke in 'Ali G' style slang, her order was mixed up somewhat. She was absolutely baffled as to why she had a big glass display cabinet delivered outside her house, when all she wanted was a taxi to take her on holiday.

"We apologised and gladly offered the young lady a refund on the display unit she received and suggested that maybe she should speak a bit clearer on the phone."

Whittle concluded: "We still don't know if she made it to the airport on time but she did ask our delivery driver if he could give her a lift." ®
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Darren63
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:57 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2006 11:36 pm
Posts: 550
Location: Plymouth
That's just great. :lol:

The modern slang and text generation, a scourge on society.
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hopper
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:01 am 
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Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 1:17 pm
Posts: 167
Location: Norfolk "Nelson's County"
For all you non Essex folk.




Subject: How to speak Essex!!



This is an invaluable guide......for those of you planning to venture into deepest darkest Essex (i.e. Romford)



alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item





amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")



assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc.



awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")



branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")



cort a panda - A rather large hamburger



Dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff")




eye-eels - Women's shoes



Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre



garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")



Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island



lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")



OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs



paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport



reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")



Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday



tan - The city of London, the big smoke



webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")



wonnid - Desired, needed. - Wonnid by the police.



zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")

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skippy41
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:20 pm 
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Posts: 10591
Location: Scotland
That was good, Hopper now we can all understand Sussex when he posts :lol: :lol: :D
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Darren63
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:35 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2006 11:36 pm
Posts: 550
Location: Plymouth
LOL :lol: :lol:

Glad we aint got a huge Essex contingent down here.
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Sussex
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:58 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 6:30 pm
Posts: 58197
Location: 1066 Country
Darren63 wrote:
LOL :lol: :lol:

Glad we aint got a huge Essex contingent down here.

No, you need the Polish version. :roll: :roll:

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