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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:05 am 
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Dusty Bin wrote:
So what are the numpties there saying?

A summary of what was going on on the numpty-forum:

At first I made a nice introductional post pointing out my post on TDO and that I couldn´t make a renewal for I had a Swiss licence at that time. Andyp welcomed me on the forum, yet called my quest fruitless and said he is glad the council stuck to its rules. He then asked if I´d still “hold my Swedish licence”, he also made a mistake in typing, which made it difficult for me to understand what he meant. This already annoyed me and lead to some surplus aggravation, so I would call this a bad start already.

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Although I had corrected him about the Swedish licence, Andyp still was under the impression I am Swedish, which now gives me the impression he just doesn´t read what I am writing. Another forum member interferes and also shows he doesn´t read what I am writing “You wanted a special privilege, to be allowed to drive a Brighton & Hove taxi with a Swiss licence, what makes you think you are entitled to this?” This is utter bollocks, I didn´t say any of this. Although they don´t read what I am writing they are attacking me, accusing me of their own faults: “Remove the obstinacy & insults, state your FACTS clearly & succinctly then maybe, just maybe, some might listen”

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It finally seeped through to Andyp I am not Swedish, he then he asked me “Do you currently have a UK driving licence?” although I have made it perfectly clear I am currently holding a German licence. I am under the impression already this is truly a forum for numpties. People were beginning to react in a hostile manner, one posted a pair of boots, the other called what I have written “tripe”.

The character using the nick “Betty Swollocks”, the one who has posted the pair of boots, now became really engaged in this and began to unload a huge pile of personal rage on me. He turned the fact I just couldn´t pay any taxes, because there simply was no money left, against me, accusing me of making a runner. None of the crazy types I was living with as a lodger had that money declared! That´s why I couldn´t claim housing benefit, too.

They were beginning to react really hostile and racist against me, I mentioned that the English are not really that much well regarded by quite a few people in Germany too and quoted someone from the German cab-forum: “For heaven´s sake, don´t bring any limeys here. I don´t want anything to do with those apes from the island. They are worse than a million Salafists!”

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Now there was some useful info in between from someone telling me that there had been drivers in my situation before and they had done the licence anew.
I was now emphasising a bit my European standpoint and responsibility, which didn´t lead to much enthusiasm, as expected, I got the feeling I am being dismissed, Andyp said the thread has run it´s course.

Then I made a mistake or perhaps not a mistake, in my sometimes painful moments of truth I mentioned the trouble with that girl I am having currently for five years, just to show them that it´s not a German-against-English-authorities thing and because it is all public anyway.

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Now, first, I want to make it perfectly clear that I don´t have any more trouble with women other than that I didn´t finish my studies in medicine and instead decided to write about a job with a bad reputation, full of jerks, become a "working-class hero". I was even living with a woman for 10 years which is now married to a judge!

But I ran into this girl 5 years ago, which appears to me was sort a destiny thing, it is almost like this was meant to be by a higher being and in the course of these troubles with her, that led to me ultimately writing a book about her, she went hysterical and must have been imagining all kinds of things, which led to an injunction based on a heap of false accusations against me, which I violated many times, had to, to put things right again, and to a minor conviction of a fine of 260 Euros.

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The whole thing was called "a mild form of stalking”, just to give it a name, although I did nothing more than to desperately try come to peaceful terms with her again and make her see that this all nothing but hysteria on her side and that´s why I named my book “Zicking!”, which is a German expression for “bitching!”

I said on the forum: “I repeat, I am in the process of appealing, back then in 2009 I was underestimating the real meaning of a conviction, I thought, my, it´s only 260 Euros I have to pay and then they leave me alone, I was about to go Switzerland and I just hadn´t the nerve to stand up against this, woman claimant, her woman solicitor, my woman solicitor, which I had dismissed only then, woman state attorney and woman judge, man, I felt like those poor women back then accused of witch-craft and burnt on a stake-pile, it was in no way different. I can only say, I love this girl, despite of what she has done to me (and she is doing to herself) and I will always love her and I am sure that this will have a happy ending, because love is always stronger than hate.”

Yet from that moment on I was finished for good on the numpty-forum! Had they been abusive to me from the very start they now lynched me, hang the nigger!

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I said there: “You know, some English people really scare me, when I think of most of the SUN-readers and football hooligans in this country… Anyway, do it the SUN-way, jump to conclusions, simplify, do wrong quotes, turn anything against me, portray me instead of what I am, someone with the best intentions, as the sick scum you want me to portray – those of you who do that would have done it anyway, I can´t change that, I can´t reach those people anyway.”

I pointed out that I got my German licence renewed in 2011, despite all that and they have an enhanced CR-check as well there, but it was all in vain, they still went on and it finally resulted in admin Andyp saying (still not able to write my name correctly)

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“I have unlocked this topic to allow others who have been reading this to add any comments…. but Mr Jochen Lembre is no longer a forum member so we will not have to be bogged down by his unbalanced way of life.
I have had a couple of pm’s about this chap… and asking as to why the topic was allowed to go on for so long".


Now get a hold of this!

"The main reason being that it was hoped that this forum would do the Brighton & Hove taxi trade a big favour and allow this chap to show his true self and that those people who are responsible for licensing drivers would get the opportunity to have a proper insight to this chaps character.
Nobody asked him to post on here.. and all the information he gave about himself was offered freely.
Rambot did a great favour by reading through his blog site.. something I couldnt be bothered to do.. and forwarded the following that this chap had written for public viewing:"

Now get a hold of that:

“So, I have one girl getting in my cab and saying that it smells like coffee, I offer her a sip and you know what, she accepts and drinks from out of my coffee cup! Then I have another girl and we have a nice chat, there she says, before she gets out, “come on, give me a kiss!” So I do, I kiss her on the mouth. And you know what, it feels sooo wonderful, she is really young and pretty and it has been ages since I’ve kissed a girl on the mouth”
I sincerely hope that this man is never licensed in Brighton & Hove and that the HCO is now fully aware of the above statement made by Jochen Lembke who admits in public the above actions whilst driving a Brighton & Hove hackney carriage.”


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Only to be followed by, someone else: “I am gob smacked at that part of his blog when he states those encounters with those two women passengers while working as a B&H cab driver! Totally unbelievable that he considers himself to be a responsible taxi driver!! This man is obviously a menace and should never be allowed back into the UK let alone work as a cab driver. If the HCO is reading this then please make a note of this man as he is not wanted in the trade!”

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More, from another one: “well done Andy for opening up the topic again, the man is a self confessed lunatic, pervert, and probably just desperate for a woman type of nutcase. This man must never be allowed to drive a taxi here, no telling what he may get up to. The worst thing of all is not only the doing but the shouting about it also. He clearly states in his blog he has even written a book about the bitch, the one he was stalking.”

Now I want to make it perfectly clear as I did on this blog of mine before already, I left England because I think a considerably large part of the English is rude, racist, aggressive, bigoted, chauvinistic and repressed, it´s the Tories, SUN-readers and football-hooligans, that make me sometimes really afraid of this country.
I do in fact know it is only a part of England and other people are really nice and that sick people are all over Europe, too – but still, being confronted on a forum like this with all these types - I might better not go back to England ever again as a cab-driver.
I also want to point out that I still write about and portray this job and its drivers, in England, as well as in other countries, and I don´t necessarily have to be an active driver in this country for that!

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Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:49 am 
Jochen I don't agree with Sussex on much, but tbh I have to agree with what he posted last time, the more you most the more you come across as a misguided crusader crusading about nothing in reality,

The KKK thing simply because you haven't got your own way is pure stupidity and if any of us really wanted to we would probably have a case for character deformation as a race,

You mention a young lady who it looks like you totally suffocated in the end, and even after she has had to get protection from you you've still violated her space, the other girls you mention with the coffee and the kiss do this sort of thing to be friendly, when a woman kisses you it doesn't mean she's wanting to go any further than being friendly,

I honestly think you aren't a bad man, but you are deffo a man with the world on his shoulder's and that is the worst place to be in life because life just doesn't work like that,

As Sussex said you are reading like some looney now (and I know you will come back with a I don't care reply it is my mission etc) but if you want to end up in an institute for mental health you are certainly opening the correct doors, you are going to have a breakdown sooner or later if you continue to think you can cut through the rules to suit yourself,

Now me personally although I think you are unstable still like you, I like people who are willing to stand up when things aren't right, but in this instance there is no case to answer, the rules are in place to protect the public, if you have to sit another test then so be it, having already been a cabby there it shouldn't be too much of an issue anyway, anyway I'm going to show you something that will help

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These should help remove the bug that's up your ass once and for all :wink:


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:10 pm 
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English shoes, 2 months after I´ve bought them in April this year.

I know us Germans can be quite bossy, when it is about giving advice, but... heck, look at the shoes, look at the state your country is in and, man, you have won the war!

Quote:
You mention a young lady who it looks like you totally suffocated in the end, and even after she has had to get protection from you you've still violated her space, the other girls you mention with the coffee and the kiss do this sort of thing to be friendly, when a woman kisses you it doesn't mean she's wanting to go any further than being friendly,
Come on Doom, neither you nor the numpties know anything how all of this has taken place, you don´t have a clue, have you so best is you stick to what I have said unless you really do know better! Alright!!!!

Rude, racist, aggressive, bigoted, chauvinistic and repressed... Oh, I´m sorry, but I forgot paranoid! My bad. :badgrin:

Right now, I still think that the renewal conditions are up to the councils, there doesn´t seem to be any national guidelines, that still leaves B&H in the position to do something for me or me fighting them!!!! And you know now that I fight what it is in my way, regardless of nationality or ethnics or colour or gender!

And, you´re certainly right, I carry the world on my shoulders, Doom, so you have to a bit patient with my impatience.

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Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:31 pm 
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Jochen Lembke wrote:
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English shoes, 2 months after I´ve bought them in April this year.

I know us Germans can be quite bossy, when it is about giving advice, but... heck, look at the shoes, look at the state your country is in and, man, you have won the war!

The shoes are kcufed because you've worn them into the ground walking to and from the B & H licensing office.

You've been there that many times, it's classed as abuse of shoe!!!

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 3:24 pm 
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:lol: That´s a good one, Brummie Cabbie!
Still, I have to point out that I didn´t walk to HCO, the last two times I`ve been there, I flew. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 3:32 pm 
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Does anywhere in England still make shoes?
Most are knocked out for pennies in some far east sweat shop.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 4:44 pm 
gusmac wrote:
Does anywhere in England still make shoes?
Most are knocked out for pennies in some far east sweat shop.


And most campers wear hiking boots not flip flops when they're roughing it, I think thats probably why they shot out so fast,

C'mon Jochen, stop trying to land a Typhoon on a minesweeper mate.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:55 am 
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Doom wrote:
C'mon Jochen, stop trying to land a Typhoon on a minesweeper mate.
Unfortunately this is much more fun than being forced to carry out senseless orders, to do a job where you earn nothing, to look for an over-prized room, where there is none, to ask for a car, when you know you won´t get one anyway and instead of friendly colleagues having a lynch-mob with the noose at the ready.

No, mate, think of the headlines "European cab-driver wins case at European court, over square and pseudo-liberal council. Brighton, an over-rated place, weary of it´s own hype, full of stuck-up and ignorant people?"

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Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:44 am 
Jochen Lembke wrote:

No, mate, think of the headlines "European cab-driver wins case at European court, over square and pseudo-liberal council. Brighton, an over-rated place, weary of it´s own hype, full of stuck-up and ignorant people?"



That isn't going to happen bud, even the euro court will back the council, you do realise what you are trying to achieve is to make taxi driving an unlicensed free for all don't you?


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 1:30 pm 
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Grrmmblll! Quite the contrary, I made it perfectly clear already, that HCO in some points is not even strict enough and that I would actually raise the bar, not lower it! Basically, I only want less bureaucracy with at the same time an even higher standard of qualification!

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:38 am 
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So, here´s the whole article from my blog, with the coffee and the girl that kissed me on the mouth. The passage in bold is what one of the numpties has ripped out of the context, to make me look bad, just the way Rupert Murdoch would do. The very next sentence, "I’ve had nothing but work in the last years" is already cut off, because he wanted to make me look like an offender, not a hard working person, which I am, and all the context around it giving it an entire different meaning is not quoted, too.

Well, well, English girls, how about that. During the day, especially when stressed, the defenses go up when you just try to be a little friendly. At night, when having had just a few drops of alcohol, they can really go wild. I’ve heard something on the radio, like England would be the most promiscuous country in Europe, only followed by Germany, well, makes sense, I guess. So, I have one girl getting in my cab and saying that it smells like coffee, I offer her a sip and you know what, she accepts and drinks from out of my coffee cup! Then I have another girl and we have a nice chat, there she says, before she gets out, “come on, give me a kiss!” So I do, I kiss her on the mouth. And you know what, it feels sooo wonderful, she is really young and pretty and it has been ages since I’ve kissed a girl on the mouth, I’ve had nothing but work in the last years. “I will put this on my blog” I say, a little dazzled. I can still taste her lip-stick 20 minutes later.

So, later on there’s a couple boarding my cab. She gets in first, doesn’t say a word, her boy-friend deals with that person that steers the car that gets her to where she wants, that human annex of the machine. He’s friendly, but it’s a kind of “happy-New-Year-driver”-friendliness. We drive, then they make me do an illegal turn and then they kiss, in the back. Reminds me of something. “Hey, I just got kissed by a girl”, I say. “It was really nice.” I don’t know, I just say things like that sometimes. I’ve been a cab-driver for so long now, every passenger who gets in my cab is like someone I know for decades, I tell people everything and most of the times, they return the favour. Yet, she reacts really, really badly. “There’s a thing called privacy”, she says coldly. “I don’t want to hear about it. I think this is really poor of you.” Yeah, right, lady, I was only telling you about that kiss and you were performing it right in front of my eyes in the rear mirror, that privacy kind of a slobbering act, lady. “You’ve got to keep things like that for yourself.” Yeah, right, lady, speak your mind, I will do mine. “Oh no, I will tell it to the world!” I say. This is not only a mourning blog! It’s not just bad things happening to me! And I give my business-card card to the man, who’s just getting out. “F_uck you!” he says. And throws the card onto the back seat. “You were being rude to me!” And he says, he thinks I’m jealous. Here I am, proud of being kissed by that really nice girl and he’s making it like I’m jealous. I tell you what, I’m not jealous. There’s loads of girl you can pick up at each corner if you have a little money, who are really pretty on the outside but ugly from within. And I tell you, your girl is such a person, I wouldn’t want her for a single night, I tell you that, I really don’t. I never had any money in all my life because other things were always more important to me and I never wanted girls like that and I don’t envy you her. But this is a cab-driver, an underprivileged being and of course he’s jealous for he never has the chance to get such fabulous ladies as you have, mate, right? On the meter is £5.80. He throws a fiver at me. “Here’s your money”, he says. They walk away. I turn and roll down a window. “It’ll be on my blog too, how you short-changed me!”

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Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 4:56 am 
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There has been two news in the Spiegel online yesterday, one about a new Audi, basically only built to annoy people with green and social conscience and the other one was that a German community has bought a bus engine from China, that runs entirely on battery. Ergo, my country builds cars for rich people in China, China does green technology for poor people in Germany.

I mean by that, I don´t want any nationalist thinking, I want us to benefit from the European and global brain pool! There has been electrified trolley buses in Switzerland for many decades, yet Brighton & Hove City Council runs the dirtiest and noisiest buses I´ve ever had the annoyance to be stuck behind!

North Street in Brighton, the city with the oldest tram in the world, is one the most polluted areas world-wide. I have seen people wearing masks or holding handkerchiefs to cover their noses, when waiting for a bus, people were telling me they would love to cycle, only they can´t, because they developed a constant cough from cycling behind buses.

Why I put this here and not on my blog?
Well, I do, but my blog reads no one, except, when they can look for more scandalous things to find there.

Brighton & Hove City Council, as inefficient, stupid and stubborn as people deserve it, that have voted for it!

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Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:41 am 
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Jochen Lembke wrote:
Why I put this here and not on my blog?
Well, I do, but my blog reads no one, except, when they can look for more scandalous things to find there.

Well am I shocked?

Not really!

I was more surprised to realise you are German and not English.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 2:42 pm 
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Sure I am German, I just got near 5 Euro´s tip for slagging off the Brits in front of a group of Arabs with UK-background, stubborn and head-strong they´d be. Oh yeah, he said and gave me a tenner for a 5.60 fare. :mrgreen:

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Pics made today.
Look at these rolling Easter-eggs, just the bow missing. :D

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Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 6:33 pm 
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Jochen Lembke wrote:
Look at these rolling Easter-eggs, just the bow missing. :D

Hope that's an iffy camera as those wheels look like they are pointing different ways. :shock:

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