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PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:19 pm 
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Dear numpties from B&H cab forum, you are certainly right I´d not be a fit and proper person and that I have an imbalanced, what was it, lifestyle? See, I´m even to stupid to remember it properly or to ignorant to look it up again. Anyway, instead of being a proper chap who takes a rifle and goes and shoots people, like it seems to get more an more à la mode, I have now finished translating this book below, written by one of these strange pacifists and lefties. Don´t know what the world is coming to with all these damn lefties and pacifists! So, keep spreading the word, this man Jochen Lembke is not to be trusted! I do see it myself now!

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http://davidswanson.org/outlawry

When the World Outlawed War — In German By davidswanson - Posted on 05 August 2012
When the World Outlawed War has been translated into German. Now we need a German publisher.

About the translator: Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer

Born ´61 in Germany, finished school with the Abitur, did studies in politics and medicine and a vocational training as a masseur. Drove a cab in four cities, in three countries, France will be next. Began writing in 2001, written 6 books, translated 5, (not counting this one) one of which was a yet unauthorized version to the Hitch-Hiker´s Guide to the Galaxy, first written in German.

Wants to dedicate his ongoing cab-world-record to the unification of cab-drivers in Europe or world-wide for a better image and working conditions and of course to peace and collaboration in Europe and elsewhere.

“I had always been against war. My father had been dragged to the Eastern Front in 1943, put in a uniform and been told to shoot or die. After that, he spent two years in a prisoner camp near Leningrad, where he had been only released, because it looked he was going to die anyway. I have been a conscious objector and did not do military service, although there was a general conscription in Germany at the time. I was born and raised in Heilbronn, a town in the south of Germany, which was surrounded by three huge American army installations, 10.000 US-soldiers plus dependents in the town. When I was a kid, I was sent to a youth camp on the Waldheide, above town, just a few hundred meters away from one of Europe´s biggest Pershing II facilities and I grew up in the knowledge that if there would be a nuclear war it would go fast, for we are one of the biggest targets for the Soviets.

When I was a cab-driver in Heilbronn, in `85, half of my customers were Americans, most of the time in uniform, from one barrack to another. Two good episodes about that: it could happen, when you asked questions about the barracks just out of curiosity and to have a little chit-chat, you´d be taken as a spy and then that one time, when a soldier left his “Pershing II manual” in my cab and I just sat there and waited till he returned and grabbed it, in a mixture of annoyed embarrassment.”

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Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 2:35 pm 
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Hi, everybody!
How my campaign is going?

Well, I have decided that to keep on going with my plans as intended is not only best for me, but also for this campaign. The more I actually progress with more countries, the more attention I will get with this one here, which is what I need anyway, to make a difference.

So, about that I am well in my schedule for Colmar, France, I have spent a lot of time training my French and Colmar-road-knowledge. In terms of requirements I had already made sure that I can dispense with 2 of the 4 steps to the licence required, by being in possession of a valid EU-cab-licence and a note by a former employer, proving two years working-practise, at least.

This week I had acquired a "certificat médicale" (medical exam) by just making an appointment and hopping over the border on my bike the same day. I don´t even have to have a French address, I just used my German one, for this is Europe, my friends!
Next is a certificate in first aid and then the application at the office.

So, I will keep you posted with my Countdown to Colmar!

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:10 am 
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Where I am with France at the moment:

To enroll for the exam next April you basically need a medical certificate, which I got weeks ago and a course in first-aid. The latter I finished last week, it was nine hours in three parts and it took place (I just booked the next one possible) in Soultz-Haut-Rhin, some 110 k´s away from Freiburg, where I am at at the moment.

You´ll particularly love that part, that I did a last minute call, to see if I could still participate, on Friday, which was ok, and then, because I was on shift the next day Saturday and don´t have a car anyway I just grabbed the cab and drove there in the morning, just wrote down a fare to Mulhouse airport (Soultz is not far away from there actually).

So, while I was in the course, my nice red German Easter egg-cab (as already shown here) waited for me on a parking space of a gym in Alsace, France! (For the next two times I took my brothers car and had to return Friday night at 11.30 am and leave again for France the next day at 7 in the morning!)

Anyway, though it is amazing how fast French can be spoken I passed the course and went yesterday to the office in Colmar (which is just a counter in the prefecture) to hand in my documents and to enroll.

In general, in France everything is very centralist and Paris-oriented, so throughout the nation the cab-exams are just once a year, mostly in April (some are in autumn) and nationwide divided in four parts, two of which are national parts and part 3 and 4 are regional.

So, you only need to take part 3 and 4 when you already hold a licence of another French town. And! Now here´s the truly amazing part, that goes too if you in fact hold a licence from another EU-country and show proof of a least two years employment (a statement of your employer will do here)! Just let this sink in!

So, I did, I casually showed them, to their amazement and delight, licences of three countries already and a letter from an employer in Freiburg, translated into French by me (and the medical and first-aid certificate)!

Now here is the part, where it gets really exciting!

Back then they told me I even could enroll for the exam with a German driving licence and so I did, I laid on the table my German driving licence! Get a hold of that!

Now, sadly, we all know about my troubles about renewing my licence in Brighton, erm, don´t we, and that a UK-driving licence is required. To this I have already mentioned here that in Germany for a renewal, other than in Brighton, a foreign driving licence would do, yet for a complete new application a national licence actually is required.

Now, here I am at the counter of “HCO” in France and lay on the table for a complete new application a national (German) driving licence and a German address, I just want to get this point through!

So, what will happen now, will I get through with this, bold, action? Will the French in the end be more European than the Germans?

Well, all I can say at this moment is that she will make an inquiry at the ministry! (In Paris, I guess) So, stay tuned for further information, as soon as I know I will know I will keep you posted.

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:24 am 
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which I got weeks ago and a course in first-aid. The latter I finished last week, it was nine hours in three parts


Either its a comprehensive course on 1st aid or the French are slow learners..mine was 3 hours in total...

Dunno If I'd want to try and resuscitate anyone anyhow...might just get sued for millions if it goes belly up. :?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:18 pm 
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Well, the way you see the French might be a thing of the past, Bloodnock.

I think the times of savoir vivre and leave the fighting against the Germans to the English and Americans are long gone - I have met quite a few rather hectic and stressed out French and just think of the suicide wave at Renault, or was it Peugeot, anyway those workers are being quite mobbed to work like mad!

Anyway, what you mentioned, the three hours, would be labeled as immediate measures on the scene of an accident, in Germany, first-aid there is also something like 8-12 hours. And I have to say the course I did in France was much more intense and packed, for resuscitation we even had three inflatable dummies to work with, baby, infant and adult and they really kept us busy!

The only thing is that it was more an education for civil protection instead what you need to do at a road-accident, there was no such thing like make sure the engine is turned of before you begin dragging the victim out of the car, instead we had things like what to do when someone chokes on something...

Yet, you´re right about the legal problems, the thing is actually quite contradictory in terms of that you are obliged to give help in case of an accident, still, if you´ve never have learnt CPR no one can expect you to give it - yet if you are registered with having attended such a course you are liable to be sued when doing it wrong...

Well, that´s how it is with lots of regulations, isn´t it.

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 8:42 am 
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I´m sorry, I couldn´t do this sooner, for I´m very busy at the moment.
Anyway, that French lady made an inquiry at the ministry and here´s the answer:

Monsieur, Vous souhaitez vous inscrire à l'examen du certificat de capacité professionnelle de conducteur de taxi (CCPCT ) session 2013. Afin de pouvoir vous présenter à l'examen, vous devez être résident en France et être titulaire d'un permis de conduire français non impacté par le délai probatoire. Aussi, n'étant pas résident sur le territoire français et au vu des pièces que vous m'avez présentées, à savoir notamment un permis de conduire allemand, je suis au regret de vous informer qu'il ne vous est pas possible de vous présenter à cet examen.Je reste à votre disposition pour tout renseignement complémentaire. Cordialement.

Alright? So, see you then.

What?
What´s this?
You can´t be bothered with froggy-speak?

Well, alright, so that´s what she said: unfortunately I do need a French driving licence for an application and also a French address, so that other guy just made me false hopes.
Still, I should have been prepared for that, because it was to good to be true anyway.

Anyway, I didn´t ask their procedures for a renewal, that´s next. For it would be interesting too, how they handle especially this...

But for the moment I need to focus on other things and I might not be able to look for a French address at the moment, below is a new edition of my book about the girl that is causing me trouble and there is still a lot of work ahead with her and the campaign about the book.

Anyway, just for fun and for here I put an English mock title on the cover, for that is sort of a summary of it´s content:

Image

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 8:18 am 
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So, my campaign about my sweet little bitch is up and running, I have sent copies of the book to such high ranking places like national chamber of lawyers (Germany) or ministry of justice of Baden-Württemberg (German state) and hopefully there is soon reason for champagne in my campaign...

Anyway, obviously, (you know me, oh, don´t you) I am not inclined to accept things if they are just bureaucratic protocols and I have not worked for 10 years like a mule and lived like a dog so that I accept that, although I can commute by bike to Colmar and back... (see picture)

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... and the French come over the border in hordes (and park on my cab-rank, for taxi is a word unknown in French language, haha) and on my drivers licence it says "European drivers licence" I am obliged to exchange that into a French one, no I´m not.

Well, it would surprise me if you´d have believed that, haha!

So, I wrote this letter to the Ministry of Internal Affairs in Paris...

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Mesdames, Messieurs
Mon nom est Jochen Lembke, j´ai 50 ans, suis Allemand, habite à Freiburg et m´appelle l´écrivain-taxi de l´Europe.
Ça veux dire que j´ai travaillé comme chauffeur de taxi dans quatre villes et en trois pays déjà, dés 1985 en Allemagne, entre 2008/9 en Angleterre (Brighton) et entre 2009/10 en Suisse (Zurich). J´ai écrit, entre autre, quatre romans au sujet de taxi et a reçu la-dessus des éloges de notre ancien ministre des Affaires étrangères Joschka Fischer, (qui a été autrefois un chauffeur de taxi lui-même).
J´ai essayé d´aller en France (Colmar), comme chauffeur de taxi, depuis 2009, mais n´en ai pas réussi jusqu’à présent, et avec l´année prochaine c´est sur la corde raide. Bien que j´aie eu réussit à faire la formation aux premières secoures en France maintenant et j´en ai passé aussi tous les autres impératifs, comme certificat médicale, il y a encore des difficultés, même qu´on m´ait eu fait des fausses espoirs à la préfecture à Colmar autrefois (qu´on peut s´inscrire pour l´examen avec un permis de conduire allemand), la situation est à présent, que ça ne marche pas, la préfecture à Colmar a fait une demande à vous maintenant et selon ça il faut avoir la résidence en France et un permis de conduire française.
Mais, parce que je travaille à Freiburg, à ce moment, je n´était pas capable de trouver une domicile en Alsace, avant que je puisse travailler là en effet. C´est pour ça je voudrais demander votre aide.
Je voudrais bien demander qu´il soit possible qu´on puisse faire une exception pour moi pour supporter mon projet et me permet de m´inscrire et participer à l´examen avec une résidence à Freiburg et un permis de conduire allemand. Les habitants de Freiburg et Colmar sont pratiquement des voisins et j´ai fait la plupart de mes visites à Colmar en vélo! Bien sur l´instant je commencerais à travailler je changerai le permis.
Malgré tous mes efforts, un travail très, très dur sur 10 ans où je travaillais comme un cheval mais vivais comme un chien je suis 30.000 Euro en dette, je face de la bureaucratie sans cesse, du racisme et pas beaucoup d´intérêt aux choses que je fait, c´est seulement le semaine derrière que j´ai reçut un refus de la fondation Mercator. Mais sans doute ça changerait l´instant je réussirais avec la France et ça irait beaucoup d´intérêt médiale pour mon projet!
Bien que je n´aie jamais eu demandé de l´aide maintenant c´est le temps pour le faire. Pour mon projet et mon future professionnelle ça serait très dur si je doive retarder l´étape en France et certainement aussi pour l´Europe lui-même, parce que, maintenant dans ces moments difficiles, c´est exactement le temps pour faire des signales positifs, n´est-ce pas, comme peut fonctionner l´idée d´Europe comme un tout, si ça ne marche pas dans les petits détails?
Veuillez agréer, Mesdames, Messieurs, mes salutations distinguées, Jochen Lembke, l´écrivain taxi d´Europe


... asking them for an exception.
Keep you posted!

PS: This thread is certainly being noticed, I just got a note on Facebook from an English cabby retired to France about my exploits in cab-business and certainly the islanders on this forum benefit from the fact, that half of the word can read it! (Unlike the French forum, this is user-only. Well, who speaks French, anyway. Or German, for that matter, so was aber auch.)

Image

My bike, with a flat, on one of my trips to Colmar (on Rhine-bridge)

PPS: I miss being a cab-driver in Brighton something fierce! I should have stayed in 2009 and kept my mouth shut. Well, if I only could... :roll:

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 6:53 pm 
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Don´t forget, God is watching over Babylon & Hove!

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Maybe I become religious on my old days, I dedicated this special edition of my book to the pope (using the fact he is German (and literate)) including a 10 pages foreword for His Holiness Himself! (Erm, can dispense with capital letter in himself...)

Image

We all know he sent his first tweet on Twitter (now we know he was thanking me in advance, haha).

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:06 pm 
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This cocky foreign cab-driver David Cameron

Alright, now let´s see if I can get this sorted out.

So this cocky foreign cab-driver Jochen Lembke, no, wait this cocky foreign prime-minister David Cameron comes to England, no, wait, the continent and says, hey guys, you know what, your rules here stink! I want different rules that suit me better! You know, I have millions behind me in which names I speak! Now, make an exception and make it snappy and if you don´t, you know what, I just leave and be for myself. Sure, I like your country, no, wait, your continent, but not the way it is.

Alright, so what do you think HCO in Brighton & Hove would do about this?
No, wait, the EU in Brussels would do about this?

Erm… probably they would say, look mate, if you don´t like it here, then don´t come here. These rules are made for everybody and we don´t want no German wisecrack, no, wait, English wisecrack coming telling us what to do. When we make an exception for you then any guy comes in and wants special treatment about his licence, no, wait, when we make an exception for you, then the Swiss will come and want to have it their way, and then Norway, too, bloody mess, right, so there is one rule for all and that´s settled. And frankly we´ve had it with you and that you always want special treatment, so make your little crusade, no, wait, referendum and then sod of!

So, politics´s a tough one, ey?

------------------------

A recent article on me in the French newspaper l´Alsace, about my no from the Paris ministry:

Image Image

the article in PDF:
http://jochenlembke.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/c3a9crivain-taxi-01-1.pdf
http://jochenlembke.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/c3a9crivain-taxi-02.pdf

My new plan b, see http://www.taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=21133

Image

Me in front of Colmar train station thinking about how I can show off with that picture on TDO
and how this will surely get me in an English paper soon, haha.

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:02 pm 
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So, I hope my message has gotten through.

While governments or multinational corporations can bully anybody as they please, other governments, other corporations or of course their people or employees, this suddenly does not work when an individual is fighting for his or her individual rights.

Then, whereas the big fellas, governments or corporations, make up rules as they go along, suddenly rules have to be obeyed, to be followed, because, you know where would we all be coming to, if every John Doe (I don´t have the proper UK-term at hand at the minute) would want special treatment, right?

So, I have sent my little satire to the numptie-forums admin, no response, and to the brass of B&H HCO, no response. Moreover, I have formally announced there that I won´t do the licence again, will this mean I will never be a Brighton-cabbie again or not.

There is just too much fun in exposing the weakness in a system that excludes the interests of small people.

Why, I could think of a million ways to ridicule them, like for instance, what I have just read today about a German cabby working illegally in Cuba (until about now he has gotten an official licence), driving around German tourists.

I will certainly not just drive Germans around in Brighton, but imagine me in a nice official German Mercedes cab there and just cruising around for a while on private calls to make a mockery out of HCO.

Where is the fun in being an ordinary cab-driver?

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 02, 2013 11:09 am 
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Quite the interest in this post here, ey?

Well, let´s add some more towards being this mythical figure, this icon of resistance who dares to oppose the mighty HCO, shall we.

I won´t do the licence again and I mean it.
They have to hand it to me on a silver plate or I´d rather be a thorn in their flesh as long as I live and then I rise at night from my grave and haunt them.

I shall go on to the end, I shall fight in France, I shall fight on the seas and oceans, I shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, I shall defend my stand-point, whatever the cost may be, I shall fight on the beaches, I shall fight on the landing grounds, I shall fight in the fields and in the streets, I shall fight in the hills; I shall never surrender.

Dare they come these HCO-Krauts! :mrgreen:

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2013 3:26 pm 
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Image

Well, try that, you´re too stubborn, arrogant, traditional, stuck-up but also chaotic, elitist, bigoted and your society is too much divided into two classes that just simply can´t get along with one another? Present company excepted, of course! :wink:

So B&H HCO, here´some German efficiency in terms of licensing, just as a reminder, because I have told you that before:

- renewal, all 5 years,
- for renewal no national drivers licence required, foreign licence will do

Yeah, I know no one listens to me.
But then again, if you don´t listen to just one single German how can be the UK be more like Germany?

Yeah, I know bloody Krauts always want to rule the world.
(Well, not before the world was available, because before it was in the hands of the British Empire)

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:43 am 
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Not that you think that German virtues, that have made German industry, trade and commerce strong would go for German government or administration. These are just a bunch of clowns as they are anywhere else.

Now that this settled, here´s a new article to the whole subject of this thread, due to the current events:

O tempora, o nsa… pardon, mores!

Another public letter to Brighton & Hove Hackney Carriage Office

Dear sir, dear madam

In the light of those new displays of abuse of power I just allow myself to reinforce my point of view, it just seems to me that to abide rules only goes for small people, whereas those above just do whatever they please. They just laugh at us, their only concern is that small people stay small and do not rebel, they have to be kept busy with their small jobs and amused with cheap entertainment, so they don´t have the time to question authority – keep them in control, don´t give them an inch or they will start a rebellion.

So this is why we have to abide rules, whether they make sense or they are stupid and this is why nobody even thinks about making rules that fit people and not just authorities.

And this exactly is why I want this changed, this is why I am so persistent and myself don´t give an inch, this is why this is for me so much more than just a question of renewing my licence, I want the government to be there for small people and not the other way round, I want rules that fit small people, not only banks and corporations.

And this is why I keep fighting and make everybody else rebellious, unless you give me back my licence, because this is exactly “when we do this then everybody comes and want things have done their way”, what the head officer had said, back then. I want that the driver and their rights comes first, not rules that are only made to keep small people down and submissive.

Now, there´s an email-address for the American NSA, but none for the British Tempora, so I can´t send this to them directly as I otherwise would have done and have to rely that this reaches them anyway (which it surely does, oh, doesn´t it) and I want to spell it out for them I am a rebellious person and I will keep fighting for my rights and thus making everybody else rebellious, so why don t you single me out for direct and lethal drone attack, I have been a cab-driver in three countries and a writer and this brought me nothing else than debts, for this is the neo-liberal world we live in, and what´s more the HCO wants me to do the licence all over again, – so at least this would make my books interesting enough so that I can pay my debts back when I´m dead, so what´s why I´m in it for, thank you.

Regards, Jochen Lembke

_________________
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:34 am 
Yet another freeloader through the white cliffs :sad:


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 1:37 pm 
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It´s not really sympathy and warmth of my British colleagues I´m fighting for, Gobby, for there is little to find, I found about that quite a while ago.

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Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer and author of the best Hitch-hiker´s-Guide-to-the-Galaxy-volume-six ever written. Or else money back (haha.) My blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/


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