Taxi Driver Online

Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK
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Author:  Jochen Lembke [ Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

My little speech begins with the words: "I know no one likes me and I have accepted that, for the moment." ;-)

Author:  Sussex [ Sun Oct 20, 2019 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

Jochen Lembke wrote:
I´d like to present my new vid, where I have sped up the whole procedure of road-telling to 31 minutes, for the whole town-map of Brighton & Hove, roughly 3000 roads, streets, closes etc., all without any help, just from out of my head.

Defo 10 out of 10 for that. =D>

Jochen Lembke wrote:
Now, I have also recorded a video with a little speech, addressing all of you here and other interested, you are welcomed to watch.

I couldn't disagree more with you on that.

I'm 100% certain there is no anti German feeling here, not saying that might not have been the case 20/30/40 years ago, but time is a healer.

We might take the pi** out of some German people and traditions, but that's not personal, in my opinion, it's merely banter.

Jochen Lembke wrote:
Best regards to the Forum, Jochen Lembke

Same to you, and you keep taking those pills. :D

Author:  Jochen Lembke [ Sun Oct 20, 2019 6:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

Well, thank you, Sussex.

I am pleased that you aknowledge my shere contribution (despite all the quarrels we had) to the cab trade in general and specifically to Brighton & Hove and i am sure in time they all will in this town. You know my dream is that one day I will have a road named after me ;-) or just a small close would be ok.

And I truly hope that I will have the chance for a come back, because I miss Brighton and the job terribly!

Moreover, I didn´t say Germans are no liked but.. well let s best keep politics out of this, YouTube offers a platform for a debate as well.

So hopefully i will soon be able to return and, yeah, we´ll see, what next!

Author:  Jochen Lembke [ Sun Oct 20, 2019 7:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

And no pills, Sussex, just hard work. Years, and years!

I´ve been new to Brighton, I´ve been learning it´s roads now for 13 years, from zero to hero ;-), hard work and an iron will, if not to say fierce, if not terrible will, for I sometimes thought this is killing me, this is too much for me, sometimes i couldn´t sleep because of that, sometimes I even had anxiety attacks.

But the brain is the most amazing thing, now it feels like a rush, like a drug my brain feeds on, I feel euphoric each time when I go through the map like this.

It was just like coming to England after being a professional driver on the other side of the road for so long and you thought, oh my, I will have to drive carefully and then, suddenly, like someone throws a switch - there, the same routine, the same practise and security, everything just mirrored by your brain!

Author:  Jochen Lembke [ Fri Nov 15, 2019 7:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

Now, as promised another vid of me, rattling down the roads with my eyes closed. Might be a bit boring to watch, so just for proof and demonstration. For it is much tougher than being guided by my drawing it´s 40 minutes, but I will keep working on it to get it under 30 minutes.

This other vid is more entertaining, it´s about my h2g2-sequel and that this whole "me-being-right-and generally-very-special-business" upsets a lot of down-to-the-Earth-people, makes them think I am a t***. Well, I try my best to be at least an entertaining and funny t*** and not the pain-in-the-ar-se-kind of t***.

It addresses all interested on this forum and refers to the picture below, clearly demonstrating I am a very special and important t***.


I have tried to link to the pictures I have taken, but they come out too big, so I have to add the quotes in writing.

It says: "... the web is teeming with h2g2-fan fiction outpourings, usually develloping neglected aspects of the story, such as the day-to-day-life of a teaser, who visits planets that have not made interstellar contact, with the sole aim of scaring the inhabitants. While some of them are pretty dreadful, other writers are both witty and articulate and it´s all (at least mostly) harmless.
You´ll have to look far and wide, however, to find fan fiction on quite the scale of ... (refers to long deleted site of mine), the site is owned by a German taxi driver named Jochen Lembke, who has written an unsolicited sixth Hichhiker´s novel, entitled "42´s the answer, but what´s the question anyway?"
A 42-chapter story that begins with a bull-dog owning Arthur Dent clad in a Union Jack costume and ranting against the "riff-raff of foreigners", it remains unpublished, except on this blog.
Having apparently submitted the manuscript to the late Adams´ agent on several occasions, however, Lembke insists that the subsequent assignment of Eoin Colfer to the official sixth Hitchhiker´s novel is "a scandal", one he has sworn to fight with a "media campaign of intergalatic size, a cry for justice, so to speak in a shark´s business". Watch this space."

So, basically, this all demonstrates both outstanding road-knowledge and language capabilities for a foreigner who wasn´t born in this country and by moral right they ought to give the licence back, but to quote an English friend of mine (the few I have) they will still be "anal" about it.

So the next time will show - will they give me the licence back? Will I be able do it again? Or will I be able to make a career of it´s own by all that by now and will come back to England anyway?

Author:  Jochen Lembke [ Sun Jan 05, 2020 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

The end is nigh!

I mean… seriously, this world has become one huge big mess over the last decade, everything has gotten completely out of hand, but I - just - can´t - get - my - licence - back? Despite me being such a good boy and all, doing cute doggie tricks????


The Earth will crumble! The Heavens will fall! Jesus will appear one last time (mm, really bad for those who didn´t believe in him, like they say, (for those will burned to a nice fine crisp, right), the ghost of Neil Armstrong will appear on the moon, waving sadly, his favorite bird, the parrot, on the shoulder (you know, for it repeats every line you feed it, but can fly jack-s_hit) apologising one last time, for it was all a hoax (while Aldrin speedily buzzes by, chased by devils) and the stars will fall - but in all this mess of the apocalypse! Brighton & Hove HCO! Will! Make! A last stand (and firmly say, "well, at least this Lembke-type hasn´t gotten his way, who does he think he is, anyway, right!? So obviously it wasn´t all that bad!"), just before they will also crumble and vanish into a dark hole (or into the Restaurant at the End of the Universe (mmm, certainly a lot of my DA fans will enjoy THAT bit (or hate me even further, ha. Of course then I would be hurled there too, by some meaningless cosmic coincidence and we´d have a final chance to sit down at a table, enjoy the show (and also sort out our issues, haha!))

Anyway, good thing we will be replaced by robots soon, maybe they can fix the mess we´re in.

(stay tuned there will be another upload here soon about my newest plans)

Author:  Jochen Lembke [ Wed Jan 15, 2020 8:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

Happy hundred-thousand, soon!

Soon it´ll be one-hundred-thousand hits on this thread - who is going to be the one who hits it? ;-)

Well, you see, it´ll be soon one million, I promise, because you see - that´s what it is all about here:
Why is it so damn important to enforce the law to an almost absurd level on just one poor guy from Germany, when at the same time the rights of the British people, laid down in written law and in the vows of politicians to live in a free and indepent country FOR the British people - is just being stamped on?

Why is this country so much on it´s knees, instead of being a proud country with just a few hand selected foreign friends, who love this country as much they love their own and not trying to take over and change it according to their own needs, but wish to preserve it, like it had been the very first time they had been there!

What is going on in this world?

And this is perfectly well demonstrated here, so keep sharing!

I love this country and I stand with you and I wish you all the best, my British friends!

Author:  Sussex [ Wed Jan 15, 2020 10:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

You will be pleased to note that B&H council are changing the street testing section of the application process to one of multiple choice.

So there is hope for you after all. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

Author:  Jochen Lembke [ Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Only B&H HCO between me and coming back to UK

Actually it would help. :-)

For that´s my weak spot now, I can rattle down all the roads blind-folded, draw the entire map from out of my head, but - snap a road at me and I might go blank.

But make it multiple choice and I´ll be 100%.

Of course it will only take 2 weeks of training to help that.

But we are all dinosaurs anyway, Sussex, soon we will all be replaced by AI, it´ll be much safer with them, hassle-free and they never go the long way. Moreover, their programing will allow them a little chit-chat about weather, sports and women (or men, depending on the sex of the passenger) and accent-free all that of course.

For Brighton passengers they might also have a gay/lesbian mode. ;-)

Possible AI-cab-talk!

With male passenger: "you are perfectly right, Ken, all women are scum!!"
With female passenger: "you are perfectly right, Linda, all men are scum!!"

That´s why our days are counted, folks, we can´t cope with that! ;-)

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