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UK cab trade debate and advice
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:04 pm 
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Posts: 1567
Uber vetting ;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlYgQgQhvp4


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 2:24 pm 
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sasha wrote:



Thats fooking brilliant that mate :lol: :lol: :lol: love family guy me like :lol: sent my old man this clip when he had kidney stones , said dont worry man, loads of famous people have had them :lol: wasn't amused mind, he was in agony at the time though :lol: :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7Ghu_wzHcg


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 11:53 am 
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Location: Stamford Britains prettiest town till SKDC ruined it
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR dick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut it."

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Taxis Are Public Transport too

Join the campaign to get April fools jokes banned for 364 days a year !


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:38 pm 
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"Your Majesty, what's the secret to a long life?"

"Well Kate, don't leave William for a fooking Muslim. "


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:55 pm 
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ven2112 wrote:
"Your Majesty, what's the secret to a long life?"

"Well Kate, don't leave William for a fooking Muslim. "

Ouch!

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Grandad,
old fart with no heart


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 2:04 pm 
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grandad wrote:
ven2112 wrote:
"Your Majesty, what's the secret to a long life?"

"Well Kate, don't leave William for a fooking Muslim. "

Ouch!


:badgrin: :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 3:32 pm 
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My mate's missus has just left him and she's taken the satellite dish and all the Bob Marley CDs. Poor fella...

No woman, no Sky, :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 3:42 pm 
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wor lass was trying to be sexy last night.
She lay on the bed licking a lollipop then she slowly started to slide it in her minge
"Steady on love" I said "You're going to need that when you cross the kids over the road for school in the morning :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 8:47 pm 
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Posts: 1567
Bunch of naturists are having a get together next week.
I might go if I've nothing on.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 6:18 pm 
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"Did you know that making a girl laugh is the second best way to get a girl into bed?" I said to my date.

"Really?" she asked. "What's the first?"

"A big fook off knife!" I replied.

"Ha-ha, you're funny," she said.

"Well done, you've made a sensible choice."


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2017 6:24 pm 
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I'm doing dry January this year. It's nothing to do with alcohol. It's just that the wife's on the menopause.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:38 pm 
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I parked in a disabled bay this morning,
The traffic warden said "Hey, what's your disability?"

I said "Tourettes, now fook off you officious clunt faced basdid"


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:39 pm 
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Did you hear about Rick Parfitts funeral ?
Apparantly they buried him deep down, down down deeper and down ! :badgrin:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:25 pm 
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The waiter asked, "Would you like to hear today's special?"

"Yes please," I smiled.

"Today is special," he replied, then walked off, the clunt :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 15, 2017 3:26 pm 
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wor lass is a big tennis fan and was telling me how distracting she finds the constant grunting noises during the women's matches.

I have promised her I will stop. :lol:


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