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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:42 pm 
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wannabeeahack wrote:
I asked a taxi driver what grooming products he uses


"bag of sweets and a puppy"



that's sick

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:42 pm 
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wannabeeahack wrote:
I asked a taxi driver what grooming products he uses


"bag of sweets and a puppy"



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

that's a belter and so true


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:44 pm 
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Location: Braintree, Essex.
How many Brexiters do you need to change a lightbulb?

One to promise a bright future and the rest to screw it all up.


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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2018 7:26 pm 
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How many Nottinghamshire miners does it take to change a lamp bulb


none cause they don't need them anymore

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 3:00 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:03 pm 
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our local subway are doing a brexit sandwich

it's got a french baguette on the bottom german pumpernickel on top but none of the staff have a clue what's in it

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2018 8:52 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2018 1:16 pm 
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let me guess Fakebook ?

now what it should be saying is

BE EXTRA CAREFUL ON THE ROADS THIS XMAS

A LOT OF FOLKS WILL BE DRINKING

AND GETTING UBER TO DRIVE THEM HOME

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2018 4:32 pm 
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edders23 wrote:
let me guess Fakebook ?

now what it should be saying is

BE EXTRA CAREFUL ON THE ROADS THIS XMAS

A LOT OF FOLKS WILL BE DRINKING

AND GETTING UBER TO DRIVE THEM HOME


oh no, not Uber!

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2018 10:20 pm 
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A mate of mine was manning the samaritans switchboard the other night

he said he had a call from a woman who spent an hour telling him about how she was a fading dancing queen who was facing the sack after screwing up the negotiations on a big deal

apparently she sounded like the spitting image of Theresa may

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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:07 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 2:58 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 2:39 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2019 3:37 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: New Jokes thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 6:53 pm 
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We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I won't name them) just been to pick it up and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!WTF??!!! I thought what the hell is that. Has something got in the bag, I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...
And there it was ...

... A Peeking Duck!!!

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