Taxi Driver Online

Ok guys we are up your way on Sunday, well the team is anyway (me working) and seeing as the Scottish team are on an upward spiral form wise - just how do you see the match going? tbh I said some months ago that I see your boys as a big challenge and that they will be a big yardstick as to whether or NOT our side is the real ticket OR another flash in the pan.

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if you cannot be yourself, then who can you be.

Guy gets into taxi.

Hi drive take me home.

Where's that mate, cardiff - hoping for the big fare.

No, I've got a hotel, drive.

Which hotel taff?

Ah, er, can't remember, drive.

Street?

No.

Part of Edinburgh?

No.

Description, what's it like?

Don't know drive. Wait, it's got a big tree in garden.


Quality. Love them taffs. The banter's braw.

As soon as they start on about the rugby, I just mention the magic words.

Barry John. Gareth Edwards. JPR.

Made me fortunes that has.

Men of Harlech ......

I'm off to watch Zulu again, just to see if Hook finally gets hooked.

Luv those Welshies.

JPR Williams, what a chap. I was visiting Wales once and injured my ankle. I was taken to hospital to have it checked out and the doctor who saw me was none other than JPR. I got his autograph but unfortunatly it was only on the prescription for some strong painkillers.

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Grandad,

Jasper that actually did happen to me when your boys came down around 3 years ago..........

And this is what happened.................A guy comes up to my cab and says Baireee (Barry) yep that's all, no drive or anything - so I says to him where to in Barry, answer sounds like "Muncerhill".

So realising this guy even without a shed full of drink in him would struggle to talk properly or make sense (A real broad Scottish accent and pretty well hammered) I asked again - @ Muncerhill was the reply, so I checked on my sat nav a whole host of similar sounding names - but nothing comes up even close to the pronunciation . After asking for street names he cannot tell me anything except to say that You are the taxi driver and I that I should know

Things got a bit heated and at one stage I told him that I would have more chance of understanding an Iraqi, anyway we reach an understanding that he will know it once we get to Baireee. During the course of the journey I realised that I had picked up a bad one, so I basically kept him humoured, luckily enough as we got into Barry two of the local drivers were stood talking by a rank so I stopped to ask Guys any idea where "Muncerhill" is, Oh you mean "Mount Sorell" it is a Hotel and is just down the road. FFS where do you get these guys from, I can honestly say that you yourselves would have had difficulty in understanding him, and I swear to you that it did actually happen.

I think this is why the Celts get on so well - we have both got idiots in the camp sometimes more than our fair share.

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if you cannot be yourself, then who can you be.

You just want to see there faces when they get in my cab and they ask me in English where to take them, and I reply in Welsh, guaranteed fares for the duration after that

What you get passengers that can speak Welsh in the borders?

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Grandad,

I can I went to ysgol ardudwy harlech, for 4 years

I bet you don't say that out loud whilst standing in front of anyone, they would drown in all the spit.

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Grandad,

Glaswegian obviously, folks from Edinburgh speak properly.

The welshies, are fine by me. I don't know what the feck they are saying but I don't feck anyway.

A wee favour here boys, remember the name of your hotel?

Welsh, is a bit like Gaelic - it should be outlawed.

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All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
George Orwell, "Animal Farm"

It maybe an idea to right down the name of the hotel before you get pi$$ed and stick it somewhere safe so when you're going home you can just give the paper to the taxi driver. You just have to hope they can read your writing

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!