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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:40 am 
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MR T wrote:
My partner, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods..

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his fuc*ing forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

:roll:


Mr T do you bat for thet other side(so he would )I bet you feel better getting that of your chest :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:48 am 
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As a friend of mine once said..... women are OK.... but they are not like the real thing.... and as for batting for the other side... we would first have to establish which side your good self supported. :wink:

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Justice for the 96. It has only taken 27 years...........repeat the same lies for 27 years and the truth sounds strange to people!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:58 am 
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Some would say i am a lesbian because i have a fondness for carpets


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:04 am 
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stationtone wrote:
Some would say i am a lesbian because i have a fondness for carpets
toots.. HELP.... :lol:

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Justice for the 96. It has only taken 27 years...........repeat the same lies for 27 years and the truth sounds strange to people!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:09 am 
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Tell-Me do you still get foot marks on the ceiling of your cab :wink:

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Justice for the 96. It has only taken 27 years...........repeat the same lies for 27 years and the truth sounds strange to people!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:05 am 
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MR T wrote:
stationtone wrote:
Some would say i am a lesbian because i have a fondness for carpets
toots.. HELP.... :lol:


What can I say.......... I don't like carpets either they leave a nasty rash on your knees :shock:

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:16 am 
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not my fault someone sent it to me, the bassa................


This is quite difficult but can be done.
Please do not blame me if you get no work done today.... or your nap.. this is addictive....
Just reset and enjoy your day!!!
TRY TO ENCIRCLE THE PUSSY, WITHOUT LETTING IT GET OUT !
START BY CLICKING ON THE IMAGE THEN ON THE LIGHT GREEN DOTS TO TRY TO TRAP IT WITH DARK GREEN DOTS.
NOT EAZY, IT'S A SMART PUSSY.



.http://www.gamedesign.jp/flash/chatnoir/chatnoir.swf

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:35 am 
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I is going to be here all day playing that game. I will not be defeated by some bloody cat :lol:

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:04 pm 
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Location: Dundee cabbie for many a year
toots wrote:
I is going to be here all day playing that game. I will not be defeated by some bloody cat :lol:


And I didn't even put up a reply :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Watch out curiosity killed the cat


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:39 pm 
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A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.

He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.

He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he Hears, 'Ribbit 9 Iron.'

The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.

Again, he hears, 'Ribbit 9 Iron.'

He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the
Club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.

He is shocked.

He says to the frog, 'Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies, 'Ribbit Lucky frog.'

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.

'What do you think frog?' The man asks.

'Ribbit 3 wood.'

The guy takes out a 3 wood and, boom! Hole in one.

The man is befuddled and doesn't know
What to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog, 'OK where to next?'

The frog replies, 'Ribbit Las Vegas ..

' They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, 'OK frog, now What?'

The frog says, 'Ribbit Roulette.'

Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, 'What do you think I should Bet?'

The frog replies, 'Ribbit $3000, black 6.'

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man
Figures what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the Hotel.

He sits the frog down and Says,'Frog, I don't know how to repay you.
You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful.'

The frog replies, 'Ribbit KissMe.'

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for Him, he deserves it.


With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.

'And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room.

So help me God, or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.'

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:56 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Best Yet


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:10 pm 
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Be aware of the runner

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amgnQz_LyKs


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:58 pm 
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A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a gorgeous parrot for sale with a sign that said 50 pounds

She had always wanted a parrot, but had found them to be too expensive, so she rushed in and asked the proprietor, "Why is this parrot so cheap?"

"Well," he replied, "You see, that parrot was in a brothel for awhile, and learned some bad language, so nobody seems to want it."

How bad could it be?, the woman thought.
Finally, she decided to buy it anyway, as it was such a beautiful bird. She took it home in a cage and put it on the table.

The parrot looked around and said "Awk! New House, New Madam!"
"Well," the woman thought, "That's not so bad."

Then the woman's two daughters came home from school.
"Awk!", the parrot said, "New Madam, New Lady of the Night!"

Well, that upset them a bit, but they tried to laugh it off, and decided that wasn't so bad either. Then the woman's husband came home from work.

"Awk!" The parrot said, "New Madam, New Lady of the Night, Same old faces! Hi George!"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:06 pm 
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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight
around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to
place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and
froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head,
promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked
the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as
he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as
a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his
flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" He
hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn
you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name
a parrot Moses?"

The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that
would name a Rotweiller "Jesus"!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 1:05 am 
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After a visit to a massage parlour, a man discovers a painful lump on his penis,so goes to see his GP.

'Im afraid this is serious' the doc says after examining him.
'you know how wrestlers get cauliflower ear?.

'yes' replies the man shakily.

'well' the doc continues

'you,ve got a brothel sprout'

_________________
My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.


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