Taxi Driver Online

Wife walks in2 bedroom and says,
"Tonight Im gonna make u the happiest man alive"
Man replies,
"Don't [edited by admin] about, whos gonna help you pack at this time of night"?

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Pinch me

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

chap rushes in home, shouts to the wife "Ive won the lottery, whhhooohhoo, come on, get packed"

she replies "what should i pack for, sunshine, skiing, hot, cold?..."








he replies "i dont care, just pack yer bags and f**k off......"

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, and I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office, and sees the blonde crying hysterically. 'What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?' he asks.

'No,' exclaims the blonde, 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

I have been doing some work on our day out today www.dundeetaxidrivers.co.nr and have been thinking on what fancy dress i could wear.I have decided to dress up as a clown.

I thought it would be interesting if forum members could say what kind of fancy dress costume would best describe them and why,

My avatar of course cos I am and I can

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

guess, who I'd be.

why? ask my controllers

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

http://www.alexross.com/600100800.jpg GRUMPY

Do you ever feel happy

http://burger2go.files.wordpress.com/20 ... -42-26.jpg

nah, my nose is swollen enough as it is,

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

What with little legs like that he probably can't catch up to happy to grab a feel

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

a chap finds out his mate found a womans body on a railway track, took it home, keeps it in th efreezer, taking it out for sex

he says to him, "does she give good head"?








his mate replies "i dunno, i didnt find her head"

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

Little girl wondering round her garden saw a tiny man sitting on a toadstool with his head in his hands

"Are you a Goblin?" she asks

"No" he replies "I've got a headache!"

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Life? Don't talk to me about life!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjm2eslm6hI

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year,

And every year Morris would say,

'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'

Esther always replied,

'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars,

And fifty dollars is fifty dollars'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,

'Esther, I'm 85 years old.

If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'

To this, Esther replied,

'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!

But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.

I'm impressed!'

Morris replied,

'Well, to tell you the truth,

I almost said something when Esther fell out,

But you know,

fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.