Taxi Driver Online

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Your life sucks there's no fun in that diagram thingy

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

it does, I'm hanging by thread, and it's fraying

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

You need to make time for fun or you will go crazy if you already aren't Having said that I have loads of fun and I'm still crazy

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places

A Naughty Little Poem
She whispered "will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."

She said "I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times
And said it can be sore."

It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been a size.

"Calm yourself" he whispered
"His face filled with a grin
"Try and open wider
So I can get it in."

"It's coming now" he whispered
"I know" she cried in bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I'm having this."

And with a final effort
She gave a frightened shout
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contended
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I'm glad I came now
You made it worth my while."

Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!

A man went to his appointment with the urologist. In the examining room he told the nurse, Don't laugh!

'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen.

Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than an AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then fell laughing to the floor.

Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.

'I'm so sorry,' said the nurse. 'I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again.

Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?'

'...It's swollen,' Fred replied.

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

What's the difference between PMT and BSE?

One attacks the cow's brain and sends it mental....

.....apparently the other is an agricultural problem

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Life? Don't talk to me about life!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjm2eslm6hI

Did I already post my alzheimers joke?

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

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http://wingsoverscotland.com/ http://www.newsnetscotland.com/

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife £775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honour,' the husband said.
'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few pounds myself.'

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Justice for the 96. It has only taken 27 years...........repeat the same lies for 27 years and the truth sounds strange to people!

Do you have TAXI MOOBS
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7855763.stm

OMG I so glad I'm suppose to have mine I wouldn't want to be having them chopped off

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

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A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard,
and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe.Nothing happened.
She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,
..."HELLLLOOOO!!!You need to roll up the windows."

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!