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Smee and Goan are Not in the Oxford English Dictionary
Some time ago in the Irish Republic, Mick O’Leary, who was a DJ with radio station 96.9FM Cork Radio, was running a phone-in competition. The rules of the contest were simple. The contestant had to say a word that was NOT in the Oxford English Dictionary & if upon checking the DJ found that indeed the word was not in that dictionary, the contestant was then invited to use his word to make a sentence that would still make logical sense. If the sentence did make logical sense, the contestant won a fifteen day all expenses paid holiday for two to Fiji. The competition was called ‘Absent Word’.
Nobody had won the trip to Fiji on the first three days of the competition. Then on the fourth day;
DJ: “This is Cork Radio on 96.9FM, Mick O’Leary here. Caller on line five please, what’s your name?”
Caller: “Hi there, me name’s Tommy.”
DJ: “Hi Tommy. Do you want to play ‘absent word’ for a fifteen day all expenses paid holiday for two to Fiji?”
Caller: “Yes I do, please.”
DJ: “OK Tommy, what’s your ‘absent word’?”
Caller: “Me word is ‘goan’; spelt G-O-A-N; pronounced go-an.”
DJ: OK. I’ll just look that word up in the dictionary.” (About 20 seconds later) “OK, Tommy, ‘goan’ is not in the Oxford English Dictionary! Now, for a fifteen day all expenses paid holiday for two to Fiji, what is your sentence which includes the word ‘goan’ & remember it has to make logical sense?”
Caller: “Goan f**k yourself !!!”
The DJ cut the caller short.
DJ: “Well, we seem to have lost our caller on line five; some bad static & interference there. Here’s a song for you, from 1967, the age of flower power; San Francisco by Scott McKenzie.”
The DJ then regained his composure & recovered from the experience with caller Tommy, played some music, took more calls on the competition, which were all unsuccessful, & then with only nine minutes of his programme remaining:
DJ: “This is Cork Radio on 96.9FM, Mick O’Leary here. Caller on line two please, what’s your name?”
Caller: “Hello, I’m Patrick.”
DJ: “Hi there Patrick. Would you like to play ‘absent word’ & try to win a fifteen day all expenses paid holiday for two to Fiji?”
Caller: Yes please; I’d like to have a go.”
DJ: “OK then Patrick, what’s your ‘absent word’?”
Caller: “The word I’d like to use Mick is ‘smee’ & its spelt S-M-E-E; pronounced smee.”
DJ: OK Patrick. Let me have a look in the dictionary & see if ‘smee’ is in there” (About 20 seconds later) “OK, Patrick, you’re right; ‘smee’ is not in the Oxford English Dictionary! So, for a fifteen day all expenses paid holiday for two to Fiji, can you make a sentence that will make logical sense using your word ‘smee’?”
Caller: Yes, I think I can.”
DJ: “OK Patrick. What’s your sentence?”
Caller: “Smee again !!! Goan f**k yourself !!!”
DJ: “Here’s Scott McKenzie again, with that 1967 chart topper, San Francisco !!!”
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Kind regards,
Brummie Cabbie.
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