Taxi Driver Online

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

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Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

Excuse me that's my line

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Three guys in a bar, first one says "Ive been married 15 years, i call my wife nightingale cos shes sweet and sings lovely"

2nd one says "ive been married 20 years, i call my wife canary cos shes so small and attractive"

3rd bloke says "ive been married 30 years, i call my wife Thrush - cos shes so fecking irritating"

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole begins sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab onto my dick and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

_________________
Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals.

"Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO SEX on this trip! All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back."

After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"

Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet."

"Darn it!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.

This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day?"

"LOOK!", said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper...

"I GOT THE HORSE'S RECEIPT!!"

_________________
Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

Definition of a Toothbrush

This useful tool, commonly found in the range of 6 to 8 inches long, is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. Its functionality is enjoyed by members of both sexes. It boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft. After everything is ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.

_________________
Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

Paddy takes new wife home on the wedding night. She lies on the bed spread eagled and says "Paddy you know what I want!". Paddy replies "All the feckin bed by the look of it"

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Recently, I saw an article about Americans sending their old clothes over to the poor in Africa.

Pointless, I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

Another on for our CC.

Paddy asks mick where jeopardy is "cos ders 5000 jobs in jeopardy"



Paddy sees a sign "tree fellers wanted" he says to mick, "be jabbers, if paddy was here we coulda gone for that"

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

Chap walks down the street, suddenley scores of folk are running his way like mad, he asks a guy whats going on "theres a wild lion on the loose" so he asks which way its running?

chap replies


"you dont think we are chasing it do ya?"

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

Chap about to tee off on the golf course when he sees a gorgeous blonde run naked across the green, stark naked, full bosoms, slim, about 20, looks like a playboy model

three blokes in white coats are chasing her

about 20 yds behind them is another, hes carrying two buckets of sand....

our golfer catches up with the last guy and asks whats going on


"that blond has escaped from the local asylum, she gets out 3 times a week, we have to take her back"

and the sand buckets?


"oh, i caught her last time..."

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most

women the weaker sex?


try getting the quilt off em at 2am....

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Of all the things ive lost, i miss my mind the most