BloodyYank wrote:
So, in plain english
My daughters experiences with me have been anything but "normal". The first 4 years of her life, I had a lot of fun with her. Normailly it involved something in my workshop . . .or some project like building a plane, fixing a broken hottub, setting it up out in the woods (with working jets and all!), taking her out in a little dinghy we fixed up together . . .then a 5 year blur, while I tried to drive a truck over the road, hardly ever being home, getting divorced, and another blur of setting up and living in two different households. Her life at my house, was wonderful initially, but most of her friends all seemed to move away, in a constant stream . . .she lost her two best friends, to their parents becoming drug addicts, then abandoning the kids . ..My ex and I had to get proffestinal help, for her at that point. She held her own, became a leader, in her high school musical band, and starting getting awesome grades . . .she got singled out in her sophmore year (then 15) to begin an experimental college program .. .earning her first 2 years of college, while simaltaneously earning her last 2 years of highschool . . .no special treatment, she's not even identified, as a HS student at the local college.
She still gets very high grades and is just finishing her final year . . .while she took care of a very sick father who got throat cancer JUST when the whole thing was getting started.
No she did'nt clean up my puke or anything like that, but she filled out dozens of forms, drove me to radiation, chemotherapy, and several surgeries, without crumbling, without complaining and continuously making the dean's list . . .
and I take no credit, . . .for her acacademic abilities, certainly . . .and I'm not proud of the fact, her life was so chaotic . . . seems like I was always trying to just "stomp out the fire, closest to the fence"
Anyway . . .I sense she worries, I won't be able to get her through college . . .she's good with money, thats why the big cash gift.. ..
I want something that says "What you have done, is quite exraordinary . . .you have behaved in a way years beyond, this benchmark of 18, and this moment is to honor that . . .
(I don't know if that's any planer, but thats about the most i got . . .)
Whilst I'm sure she already knows just how proud of her that you are, you could start by telling her what you have told us in the above post. Sometimes the most simple of thoughts/gifts (such as being reminded of what we have) is the most important. Mind you...it probably would not be a good idea to direct her to the Taxi Driver Online website to read it!
On the other hand...an introduction to TDO...what a wonderful "surprise" gift (and a less expensive way of meeting some of the Europeans!). No having thought about it, don't do it! Trying to converse with some of the regulars on this forum would be a form of torture and she would, almost certainly, never speak to you again.
Being serious, my guess is that she will already know that your cash gift is certainly NOT "just throwing money at her", as you put it, but as an extra gift, organise a small party/disco or meal etc, with the people she would want to be there. If you worried that you could get it wrong, enlist the help of her friends. Even if they then tell her what "surprise" you have in store, as long as they then indirectly tell you what your daughter wants, everyone's a winner!
Good luck!