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Man Rules!!!

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Nigel

Post subject: Man Rules!!!

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 7:37 pm

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules !
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want: Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument..
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat…. you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry: we meant the other
one

1. You can either ask us to do something, Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... R eally .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Shooting
or Cars

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

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Sussex

Post subject: Re: Man Rules!!!

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 7:51 pm

Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 7:30 pm
Posts: 57356
Location: 1066 Country

Nigel wrote:

1. If you think you're fat…. you probably are.
Don't ask us.

_________________
IDFIMH

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toots

Post subject:

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 8:03 pm

Joined: Sat Jul 26, 2008 3:22 pm
Posts: 14152
Location: Wirral

I don't for one minute assume you want my opinion but here it is anyway. They're all perfectly good rules except for No1 and you've missed out one IMO and that is

No1 Your approval is neither asked for nor required :wink:

_________________
Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

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grandad

Post subject:

Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:52 pm

Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2007 11:27 pm
Posts: 20130

toots wrote:

They're all perfectly good rules except for No1.

I thought that was the best one. :wink:

_________________
Grandad,

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