Taxi Driver Online

well this seems like the most appropriate thread for my 1000th post so here it is !

My god have i really achieved that level of drivel

You will be catching up with me soon.

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IDFIMH

No chance I'm surprised your not already in the guinness book of records !

On some of the football sites there are folks with excess of 250,000 posts to their names.

FFS.

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IDFIMH

Count your blessings at least you can't be accused of chatting so much sh*te as me. Having said that it's expected of me

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

POLK COUNTY FLORIDA SHERIFF GRADY JUDD
An illegal alien in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop ended up 'executing' the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A state-wide manhunt ensued.

The murderer was found hiding in a wooded area and as soon as he took a shot at the SWAT team, officers opened fire on him. They hit the guy 68 times.

Naturally, the liberal media went nuts and asked why they had to shoot the poor undocumented immigrant 68 times.

Sheriff Grady Judd told the Orlando Sentinel: 'Because that's all the ammunition we had..' Now, is that just about the all-time greatest answer or what!

The Coroner also reported that the illegal alien died of natural causes.. When asked by a reporter how that could be since there were 68 bullet wounds in his body, he simply replied "when you are shot 68 times you are naturally gonna die."

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Einsteins theory of relativity. E=MC2 or energy equals mass multiplied by the constant speed of light squared. This I understand, men, now thats another matter

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

It is good to be a woman:

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there..
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

God forbid!! Hate your taste in men....

Men should only come in 2 flavours, chocolate and red wine. That would make them simply irresistible

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

THE CRUISE
DEAR DIARY . DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.

DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins.
Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship. I was shocked.

DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Saved 1600 lives today - twice.

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Seems I'm irresistable then....

How so

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!