Taxi Driver Online

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Justice for the 96. It has only taken 27 years...........repeat the same lies for 27 years and the truth sounds strange to people!

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Quote of the day:

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So……..,

if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of [edited by admin].'

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

How true

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Interesting in the light of " McAvity Smith's " statement today on "health care for the elderly"

Senior Health Care Solution So you're a senior citizen and the Government says no health care or pension for you, what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 MP's and 2 Senior Government Officials.
Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, Great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered.

And who will be paying for all of this?

The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income
taxes anymore.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

And you can puff away on your capstan full strength without having to stand outside in the cold....

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Just cause its so hard for us to get together for a coffee...have one on me.....


1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON OPEN

ENJOY!

http://www.cartoline.it/pics/_zoom_flas ... 404_01.swf

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

It doesn't have a no sugar option.

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Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.

It also didn't have the shovel full of sugar option and I could do with all the help I can get when it comes to sweetness, apparently

_________________
Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

After you have read through to the end stop and think how many rang true with you !!!


Subject: Universal Laws


Law of Mechancial Repair~~~After our hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity ~~~~Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to
the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability~~~The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers~~~~If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi~~~~If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Variation Law~~~~If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every
time).

Law of the Bath~~~When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.

Law of Close Encounters~~~The probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be
seen with.


Law of the Result~~~When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.

Law of biomechanics~~~The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.

Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena~~At any event, the people whose seats
are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who
will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and
who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The
folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or
big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performace.... The aisle people also
are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law~~As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers~~If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces~~The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich
landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and
cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument~~Anything is possible if you don't know what you
are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance~~If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking~~A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Mareketing Strategy-As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law~~If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the
doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an
appointment, and you'll stay sick.

_________________
My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Henry caught snorting Coke. First its the hand ball and then this!! a spectacular fall from grace.

http://i43.tinypic.com/2e2jt5l.jpg

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown.

They're asking for a One Million ransom.

Otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire.

We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"

"About a litre."

I'm voting for the Icelandic Volcano Party. It's done more to stop immigration in the last 5 days than Labour has done in the last 10 years

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
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In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than going blind!)
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for their first time.
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
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In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)
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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England- but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
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In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
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In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law.)
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In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is this a great country or what?
Well, not as great as Guam !)
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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)
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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of ?)
(Did our government pay for this research?)
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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)
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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)
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Starfish don 't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)
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And the best for last…..

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)


Thank you all for reading this.
If you need to reach me in the future, I will be in Guam !

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.