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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 8:24 am 
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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:33 pm 
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Grumpy...... sometimes your quite gross. Why on earth was you looking for such a picture in the first place :shock: :wink:

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:20 pm 
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I dont, they arrive to my interweb, via thon electronicmail thingy. Dosn't say much about the friends that send them tho', or does it :lol:

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I voted Yes, without any fear.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 4:54 pm 
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Location: Winchester Hampshire
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 5:12 pm 
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You would think the camera man would tell her, the b'stard. :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:27 pm 
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Children writing about the ocean:



1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly, age 6)


2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)


3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island .
If you don't have ocean all round you, you are
incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)


4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth,
just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)



5) - A dolphin breaths through an [edited by admin] on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)


6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
pots and comes back with crabs.(Millie, age 6)


7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade
winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind
didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make
the wind come. My brother said they would have been better
off eating beans.(William, age 7)


8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful
and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)



9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother
is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live
in caves under the sea where I think they have to
plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)



11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold,
and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)



12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.
Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down
on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when
she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again
because water fired right up her fanny. (Julie, age 7)



14)-The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown
I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)



15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7)

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 3:10 am 
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Location: A Villa in Aston NO MORE!
I've had to buy a new computer, shed loads of money . . . . the old one gave up the ghost suddenly. The hard drives & all the other drives were OK & I managed to retrieve all the files off them.

But something broke good & proper that's supposed to make the whole filing cabinet work & the drawers would not open. In fact, the knackered old thing didn't recognise the drawers at all; they must have all fallen off their runners or jammed so they couldn't open.

By the time I went to buy the new electronic filing cabinet I was shaking all over; really badly.

But the new electronic machine is really fast; much better than the old one.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 7:48 am 
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I thought computers had come down in price. When I bought this old thing it cost me over £1,000. I always look enviously at all the nice new sleek ones and keep promising I'll treat myself. I have a funny feeling tho that it won't happen until this things refuses to switch on :sad:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 3:03 pm 
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toots wrote:
I thought computers had come down in price. When I bought this old thing it cost me over £1,000. I always look enviously at all the nice new sleek ones and keep promising I'll treat myself. I have a funny feeling tho that it won't happen until this things refuses to switch on :sad:


They are around £450 now toots from Dell with all the bells and whistles


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 4:29 pm 
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skippy41 wrote:
toots wrote:
I thought computers had come down in price. When I bought this old thing it cost me over £1,000. I always look enviously at all the nice new sleek ones and keep promising I'll treat myself. I have a funny feeling tho that it won't happen until this things refuses to switch on :sad:


They are around £450 now toots from Dell with all the bells and whistles


Have you got a spare £450? I'm all out of favours from my brother :lol: :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 7:08 pm 
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Location: A Villa in Aston NO MORE!
toots wrote:
I thought computers had come down in price. When I bought this old thing it cost me over £1,000. I always look enviously at all the nice new sleek ones and keep promising I'll treat myself. I have a funny feeling tho that it won't happen until this things refuses to switch on :sad:

Well I suppose you're right they are very reasonable money & so easy to install now, even you could do it Ms Toots.

I went straight onto the PC World website on my wife's laptop & the first one I came across was an offer priced Compaq with 2Gb RAM & 320Gb Hard Disk at £349.99 with Windows 7, reduced from £479, so I thought 'I'll have that!'

But then it's the other stuff that you buy in the bundle, because everything installed on the computer only lasts 60 days & then you have to either buy the everlasting version or buy it straight away in the bundle because it's cheaper that way.

So after adding Norton Gold 360 & a Microsoft Office Home & Student 2010 key card which I later swapped for a tenner more for the same thing only in disk form for 3 computers & then a 500Gb Media external hard drive & a Lexmark Prestige colour ink-jet printer, copier, scanner reduced from £324.99 to £149.99 & a couple of 8Gb memory sticks, the price went up a bit.

But this equipment is mustard now compared with my old dilapidated box & I'm well pleased.

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Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:17 pm 
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Quote:
even you could do it Ms Toots.


You'd think wouldn't you. I'm a dab hand at using them but when it comes to purchasing one I let somebody else do the work. I say what it needs to do and how much I have and they find it. Simples. Well it works for me :D

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 Post subject: Think Before You Speak
PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:21 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2005 8:44 pm
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Location: Scotland
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a bl*w j0 b?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget..


FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's willy last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their food laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did he have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 5:21 pm 
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Location: grangemouth
So this is how to take a penalty.....................


http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/wor ... cle/19275/

superb

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:05 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:33 pm
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Location: grangemouth
The Australian Government and the NSW Forestry Service were presenting an alternative to NSW sheep farmers for controlling the dingo population.
It seems that after years of the sheep farmers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the Labour Government (Peter Garrett - Environmental Minister), the NSW Forestry Service and the Greens tree-huggers had a 'more humane' solution.
What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males would then be castrated and let loose again. Therefore the population would be controlled.
This was ACTUALLY proposed to the NSW Sheep farmers Association and Farming Association by the Federal Government and the NSW Forestry Service.
All of the sheep farmers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally, one of the old boys in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, ‘Mr Garrett, son, I don't think you understand our problem. Those dingo’s ain't f***in' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em.'
You should have been there to hear the roar of laughter as Mr Peter Garrett and the members of the NSW Forestry Service , the Greens and the other "tree huggers" left the meeting very "sheepishly".

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.


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