Taxi Driver Online

Skippy i have a wig you could borrow

I have a gown I you can borrow

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

I can possibly get you a rabbit.

CC

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

Pmsl............

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

maybe toots could supply that

I was suggesting skippy might need one to pull out of his HAT

ffs

You people.

CC

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

What...... share it..... eeeeeeee don't thinks so how disgusting

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

He can only do that if somebody lends him a hat

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

I can lend him a baseball cap......but considering his looks a balaclava may be more apt.

CC

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

Which way round?

All rise
Skippy V stupid council
case as stated colour of cab
Your honor this is an open and shut case for the defence,
Skippy to Stupid councilor Q, where does it state in the act or any act that taxis owners must paint there cabs any colour the council wants.
A,eemmmmmm it does not, we sort of made it up to suit ourselves
Q Do you know how much, and where the feck owners are meant to get the daft colour from
A,eeeeeeemmmmmm NO
Q, If you where taken to a taxi rank would you be able to point out a taxi,or point one out on the street to the court,
A, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem nope.
Q Why
A, because we have said they are meant to be Bristol Blue
Q, would the fact that they have a nice 4 letter word on the roof help you recognise them as taxis, you can read 4 letter words can you not??
A, yes
Q, Is that a yes to the first part or the second,
A, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmm im not sure what you mean
Q, come now stupid councilor I may call you that can I not, do you know what a taxi looks like??
A, yes
Q, have you ever been in one??
A, yes last year went to the civic ball
Q, and you had no difficulty in recognising the taxi when it came to your house to pick you up
A, no
Q, so why force hard working taxi owners , to spend loads of money on something that was dreamt up by some council jobsworth
A, I was not at the meeting so cannot comment
Q, but you voted for it did you not
A, yes
Q, so you voted for something you did not understand or have any knowledge about.
A, I suppose so
There we have it your honor a daft idea dreamt up by council jobsworths who don't have a fecking clue what time of day it is
I rest my case

Judgment in full favor of skippy, and costs awarded of a 1 million, council to re emburse owners who have had it done and pay to have the ones done already put back to there original colour, and pay every owner £1,000 loss of earnings while its being done

I think it might go a little more like this:-

Court bailiff:- All rise for his honor wtf

His honor wtf:- Wtf do we have here? Oh yes, right, ok lets go.

Counsel for the LA:- To make things easier for the public your honor we have decided that all taxis should be the same colour. The specific colour we have choosen is not your regular colour that you can get off the shelf but is indeed a specialised colour. We felt this was necessary so that no other vehicle within our licensing authority could be mistaken for a taxi, your honour. Whilst we appreciate that in the current climate the extra expense on the taxi driver may be a little strain we did give them some years to save up and have the job done. With regard to their job we felt that they would agree to have this specialist colour for their cabs rather than to have no job, your honour. Mr Skippy the counsel for the taxi drivers will have us believe that it is unreasonable to expect all drivers to pay upwards of £4,000 to have their vehicle resprayed this rather marvelous blue. It is our belief that our request is reasonable and justified. Once you have heard counsel for the taxi drivers you will agree your honour. (nods, smiles and sits down)

Mr Skippy:- (stands to address the court) Your honour.........

His honour Wtf:- Stop, stop, stop.......... Mr Skippy wtf is that on your head?

Mr Skippy:- It's my wig your honour

His honour Wtf:- Wtf is that you're wearing?

Mr Skippy:- It's a gown your honour

His honour Wtf:- Wtf is that in your hand?

Mr Skippy:- It's my cap your honour, I know it should be on my head, but, there's a rabbit in it your honour and it won't stay still

His honour Wtf:- Why have you a rabbit in your cap?

Mr Skippy:- It's quite simple your honour I was going to show the court that the taxi drivers could no more produce from their caps £4,000 than I could produce from this cap a rabbit

His honour Wtf:- ........ but you said the rabbit wouldn't keep still that's why you weren't wearing your cap. Now there is either a rabbit in the cap and you can produce it or there isn't a rabbit in the cap and you've just lied in court

Mr Skippy:- It's not your regular type rabbit your honour. It has batteries and I couldn't find the switch to turn it off with your honour

His honour Wtf:- Wtf are you doing with a battery operated rabbit in court

Mr Skippy:- Well I tried to explain to the drivers that this wasn't the kind of rabbit I was talking about but they insisted it was appropriate to express exactly what is happening your honour.

His honour Wtf:- Wtf are you on about Mr Skippy, how will that be useful in explaining exactly what is happening in this case and how the drivers feel it will be of use in their defence

Mr Skippy:- We felt we would ask counsel for the LA to bend over so we could stick it up his ass so he too could feel what it was like to be shafted your honour

His honour Wtf:- Bailiff take this man away!!!

Some weeks later via Royal Mail

Dear Skippy,

I hope they are treating you well and the walls are nice and padded cos we'd hate to think of you hurting yourself. I've enclosed some crayons and hopefully they'll take the jacket off so you can use them. We all miss you.

Take care
Toots and the rest of TDO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iDl2zwF8TM

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Sorry skippy but i think toots theory would be more accurate in fact it was hilarious well done toots spat my coffee all over my key board. going to post it in a bit of fun

Toots.....your in the wrong career...you shouldve been a Writer.

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