Taxi Driver Online

George Michael is having an absolutely horrendous time in prison.

After dinner every evening he is forced to give everyone on his wing a hand job.

And the prison warders have ordered him to make a hot chocolate drink for all the in-mates every night just before lights out.

Michael is now writting a new song based on his experiences in prison called, 'W*nk me off before my cocoa!'

_________________
Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

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What goes wham when the lights go out




George Micheal's sell mate

What has a Blackpool donkey and George Micheal got in common!
Both rid en day an night eho eho

TAXI PRANK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nw1wdyvD ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpjBGNk3pJc

one that toots can translate

The only bit I can help with is when the girl from Delta Liverpool told the chap from Delta Wirral to f**k off

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Note found on the refrigerator



My Dear Wife:



You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy... I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel . Please don't be upset I shall be home before midnight.





When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table.


My Dear Husband:



I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54

years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are

also 54 years old.. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I

would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel

Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant soccer

coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.



As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Even I understood the maths on that one

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

The new Publix Supermarket... Where shopping is a pleasure

A new Publix Supermarket opened in Hudson, Florida. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and bar-b-que sauce.

In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Since the wife went senile all she does all day is look through the window

One day when it's really cold and pi**ing down with rain I might let her in.

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Life? Don't talk to me about life!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjm2eslm6hI

I was asked to leave the public swimming pool today

I had a large bulge in my speedos.

Upsetting some other swimmers, apparently.

I pointed to another guy in similar trunks and asked why he was not being asked to leave
...
"because he hasn't shiiit himself" was the reply.

then I was chipped out for piishiing in the pool

I told em 'everybody piishes in the pool'

not from the top diving dale they dont was the reply

NASA decides to send two monkeys and Jasbar into space...
NASA .... to monkey number one .... we need you to check the Giro settings and realign your vertical trim.
NASA.... to monkey number two ..... we need you check your position using earth readings and star positions.... check internal pressure readings and compensate accordingly...
NASA... to Jasbar feed the monkeys.... and for Fu*ksake don't touch anything.

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Justice for the 96. It has only taken 27 years...........repeat the same lies for 27 years and the truth sounds strange to people!

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is hmrc. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate £10,000 to the church?'

'He will.'

_________________
My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

Wile E Coyote kills the Road Runner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vR7DCFCk ... _embedded#!

I ran the council today to as if I could have a skip outside my house tomorrow.

The smart arse from the council said, "You can cartwheel around the F8cking block today for all I care!"

_________________
Kind regards,

Brummie Cabbie.

Type a message, post your news,
Disagree with other members' views;
But please, do have some decorum,
When debating on the TDO Forum.