A complaint has been made to the police against the passenger who chucked an annoying wee fanny fare dodger off the Edinburgh to Perth train.
The police refused to reveal who made the complaint, but they did hint that the complainant might be a bit of an annoying wee fanny fare dodger.
Turned out though that the AWFFD was a student, well that's alright then isn’t. Students are allowed to fare dodge and swear and have had a drink, but afterwards claim they weren’t drunk.
In an effort to gain public sympathy for ending up skiting along the platform on his a***, the student, a Sam Mains said he was diabetic, had not eaten much that day, and had not slept the night before because he’d been studying. And he collects used bath water and sends it to help the poor and starving in Africa, and he spends a lot of time standing beside rivers to save any drowning orphans who might accidentally fall in, and he’s just completed a gruelling sponsored 100 mile hike on his knees to raise money for the St Crispin’s Home for the Chronically Bewildered, and when he’s not doing all that he donates all his kidneys to help the kidneyless. In other words he’s practically ****ing Bono. So now knowing all that we know about the student the man called Allan Pollock throwing him off the train was an outrageous act of the utmost terribleness.
Saint Sam, the patron saint of wee fanny fare dodges could have landed on the platform badly and bruised the kidneys that the recently cannonised Sam has given away. Although one woman on the train at the time did say “There’s no need for that”. That was the students Mum who was sitting on the train opposite him. She was asked why she didn’t pay his fare for him and she said “I would have done, but I find him a bit of an annoying wee fanny”. Still it has given all the kids in Scotland an alternative to the song Ye Cannae Shove Yer Granny Affa a bus. And Ye Cannae Shove A Diabetic Affa Train is proving very popular amongst the age group 5 to 12.
http://www.rikkibrown.com/
Login
Register
FAQ
