This crib-sheet of DOs and DON'Ts has been compiled as a quick reference for all true Unionists** operating in the field of anti-independence activities in Scotland. It is an extract of that which we regard as being the key actions from "The British Unionist's Handbook" (with which you are probably more familiar).
1. DO point out how well the Scottish economy is doing under the Union.
2. DO claim Scotland cannot afford independence.
3. DON'T, however, make points 1 and 2 to the same individual(s) at the same time. (slight compatibility problem).
4. DO claim that North Sea oil is about to run out. It's harder to sell the 'oil isn't worth much' line since those troublesome 'McCrone Report' revelations under the Freedom of Information Act.
5. If you are influential in UK Government DO what you can to prevent Scottish companies and industries becoming a source of national pride. The less Scots feel able to prosper under independence the less they will be willing to vote for independence. It also will do no harm to infer that a London government may be capable of hurting a post-independent Scotland economically, but never state this baldly.
6. If you are influential in UK Government DO not baulk from limiting Scottish democratic rights if necessary. In particular DON'T ever allow a referendum on independence.
7. If you are influential in UK Government DO cut the budget to the Scottish Executive if it is an SNP one, so that not all of their commitments can be fulfilled. Work with the UK Treasury on this. Then claim targets not met are the SNP's fault.
8. DO claim that the SNP would create an 'Albanian style socialist republic'.
9. DO claim that the SNP are 'Tartan Tories'.
10. DON'T, however, claim 8 and 9 at the same time and again, make sure of your audience's political leanings first.
11. If you work in the media, DO portray SNP politicians in as bad a light as possible e.g. doing something trivial or seemingly carefree or arrogant. On the other hand, portray Unionist politicians as being serious and competent.
12. If you work in the media, DO report as often as possible anything which might help to lower Scots self-esteem. This is vital, if the electorate do not feel confident enough they will not vote for independence supporting parties. So lie if you have to.
13. If you work in the media, DON'T report poll results on straightforward independence, they frequently show a majority for it. If you must do so, make sure these are 'buried' as much as possible.
14. If you work in the media and are interviewing politicians, DO make sure you are more aggressive with the pro-independence interviewee. Cut him/her off if they seem to be making a good point, and change the subject. Ridicule their answers and always let the Unionist have the last word. Wherever possible, emphasise division in the pro-independence camp.
15. If you work in the media, DON'T use the Scots language except for ridicule or deprecation of Scottish culture.
16. If you work in the media, wherever possible DO seek out comment from an English accented individual, especially in authority situations. Never use a person with a Scots accent unless you have to. The exception is football, but we are even making progress there.
17. If you work in the History sector, (Universities, museums, historical sites), DO your best to eradicate or play down any nationalist content. The scourge of nationalism must be politically cleansed from our past, it only lends encouragement to independence ideas.
18. If you work in the History sector, DO claim that nothing of importance happened in Scotland prior to the Union. In particular Wallace is to be ignored, or if that is not possible, portray him as a terrorist. Portray the Bruces as self-seeking French rejects.
19. If you work in the History sector, DO claim that Scots were enthusiastic partners in Empire after the Union and that nationalism only reared its ugly head in the last few decades. Claim England really came to Scotland's rescue in 1707 and that it was appreciated.
20. If you work on a cultural quango DO try to make sure that Scottish culture, particularly Folk and Celtic Music, goes ignored and unfunded. Encourage the output of politically cleansed material which promotes the Union, especially on TV.
21. If you work in the cultural sector, DO encourage the output of films and theatrical productions which denigrate Scottish culture. Negative, we know, but the key to success is to keep Scots' national self-esteem down as much as possible. Comedy is particularly effective here as any criticism of it can be pooh-poohed as demonstrating a lack of sense of humour.
22. DO infer that Scots just aren't good enough to govern themselves but DON'T ever put that in writing or you risk a charge of racism.
23. DO describe the SNP as being the 'Proddy Party' to private audiences of Catholics.
24. DO describe the SNP as being the 'Papist Party' to private audiences of Protestants.
25. DON'T make points 23 and 24 at the same time and once more make sure of your audience first.
For clarification for the reasoning behind these tips, and for many more, refer to your copy of "The British Unionist's Handbook".
** IMPORTANT! - READ THIS – IMPORTANT!
It is vital that this document should only be distributed to true British Unionists. Do not for a split second, think that all those who vote for Unionist parties can be trusted with the information in this document. The vast majority of them only vote for Unionist parties because we have managed to put some sort of doubt in their mind about the viability of an independent Scotland, in their heart of hearts they would still like to see an independent Scotland if they could.
So make sure this document only gets into the right hands - true, proud, British Unionists who put Britain first, who would be pro-Union even if it definitely meant Scotland would be worse off.
Remember, we may be in the minority but we are in the right - it is our duty to save Scotland from itself.
Rule Britannia!
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