Amazing. Passed fit to operate a taxi driver's licence in Edinburgh. No test of driving skill, nor any psychological assessment, I'm fit to kill. And the doc's recommendation will be that I am fit to be licensed to kill.
The irony of the parallel between today's jape and the slave masters checking the teeth of slaves to ensure their fitness to be exploited, was not lost on me.
Peed in a bottle. No diabetes. Though even if I had it would not debar me from driving. So, why is this even in the test?
Blood pressure. A1. Seems venting steam on the forums keeps the blood pressure down. Quality.
Shoes off, step on the scales. Back against the bar, height taken. So what! BMI is horrendous. But I'm not the fattest most lethargic tw*t in the trade. Fail me on this and half the bar stewards in the trade are redundant. So, this is a game then? OK!
Do you use your glasses for driving? Yup, sure do. Then please remove them and read from the chart.
Er! Really? Why? If I use them for work, why are you testing me without them? It's what we do Mr Jasbar. Ever asked why, I wonder? But this jobsworth has never even asked the question has she?
So, you've ticked a long list of yes/no questions, who could possibly know you've told the truth? I did of course. Because guys on this site know I only ever tell it how it is. That's why I'm unpopular. Aaahhhh!!! Puir wee dear I hear you extoll
Anyway, sidelined to await the doc.
"This your first licence application Mr Jasbar?"
Jeeze, is this guy for real?
Nope I said I've been driving for nigh on 20 years.
"It's just that you've said that you're unemployed?"
Yup I told him. It's because I'm persona non grata. I've had the temerity to express my political opinions, I've asked for something which 75% of the rest of the nation already have, and I'm excluded by the trade. And the council has encouraged them by restricting taxis. Which empowers them to deny me my right to work. By denying me unfettered access to the tools of my trade I am now unable to do the work I am trained to do. Not because I'm not trained to do it, nor fit to do it, and I'm available to do it, but because they're denying me my right to do it.
What followed was an interesting interlude of going through a variety of movement exercises to show that the bones were still functioning. A combination of Mr Bean and MARCEL MARCEAU came amusingly to mind. T*ts bared so this medical voyeur could listen to my heart and check it was still working. That I was standing before him, and still successfully breathing apparently not sufficient proof that it was still functioning.
Curiously he seemed somewhat bemused when I offered that the trade may well find it somewhat amazing that he managed to find a heart to monitor in the first place.
Jasbar. You're fit. I know he meant this serf was fit to drive a taxi for the slave masters in Edinburgh, but my mind was more preoccupied with the fitness of the ... perhaps I shouldn't go there.
So, I burst out into the open air, the council can't deny the licence because I'm not fit enough to be a taxi slave. They'll have to do better than that. Hoist by their own petard comes to mind.
Anyway, what occurs to me as I sit at the bus stop, there was no attempt to determine whether I was a sex maniac, or psychologically fit to drive.
After all the trade is full of nutters you wouldn't want to drive your old Mum. The lunatic Dougie for example. But this test of fitness doesn't touch that base.
So, I'm fit to kill a passenger or another member of the public that tries to claim my rightful road space. But the lunatics get to work while I'm denied. And should it happen, the council can claim they ticked a box, claim they protected the public.
But the game of fitness means nothing if the council's policy is to deny those who speak their mind, who articulate their political views, in a way they dislike because there is no other means open for them to do so, access to the means to work.
I'm unlucky. I'm fit to kill, and they will licence me to kill, but they won't allow me to do so by denying me unfettered access to the tools of my trade.
